Self pity

[milly143]

This maybe be a very selfish, niave attitude but I'm really sick of hearing people banging on about how hard their upbringing was and how that has affected their adult life and use that as an excuse for being socially in-ept. I know very few people who had an easy upbringing including myself and my 6 brothers and sisters, yet we manage to get on with life in a 'normal' way. I know some people have had incredibly hard times through their lives but do you think some people thrive on self pity?

[qapmoc]

Yes because it is spelt Ohhh not Ohhhh.

[Slooow_Jo]

It depends on whether you want to be a victim or a survivor for your adult life.
I dont think anyone should have to listen to someone else 'whineing' about being 'ard done by, but I dont like the 'I had it harder that you' attitude because everyone believes their own pain is worse (of course it is,they're the one suffering it).

I've actually had people say to me, that I've turned out really well considering......this really makes me mad what did they expect me to turn out like???....does this mean I have an excuse if I do decide to 'go off the rails' ? lol

[noxlumos]

I've gone in both directions in my adult life having been very badly abused as a child. Firstly I allowed that to affect me and make me angry and violent which ended up with me having lots of addictions and going to prison and then I realised very suddenly actually, that the only person ruining my life now was me, so I changed quite consciously my "programming" and learned to talk about the abuse and let it go ( it's in the past and can only harm you now if you allow to it to) and to make different life choices, which interestingly lead to a completely different perspective on the whole world as people's attitudes to me changed.But you have to get to that point and if it wasn't for my second wife I'm sure I could never have arrived here, so do try to be sympathetic with people who are still bogged down in their past as it's very difficult to free yourself from some things.

[alijangra]

My childhood was horrendous, and I only let it affect me until I was 17 (drugs, drink, self harm etc) at which point I left home still a scared child really. I have never looked back, and although I have struggled financially in the past and have dealt with depression for years I have never blamed my past. I feel I am responsible for my own destiny and nobody is going to hand me anything on a plate. I really am thankful for every day I have on this earth and I now life my life to the full. x Alison

[Jennykins]

Hello milly, I do get what you mean.. some people do fall into the that pitty me trap.. but some people are effected by abuse and such... Its a fact that if your are mentaly or phyically abused as a child it will stunt your neurological development.. somtimes making it hard for you to learn,make friends,or even have a "normal" relationship with people. We all have our ups and down in life and we all handle it different.. Some people are born able to handle things way better then others in the same situaton.. and most of the time there the ones that help the "others" ... But I do get your point Milly and I do believe some people use there hard times as self pitty for attention.

Jen-x

[Jennykins]

Im sorry I didnt mean "IT WILL" stunt.. I mean It can.....

[scorpio17]

here here milly143 totally agree with you, maybe because my mum always drummed into me that there is always someone worse of than you, very true it is to.