Whats Your Thoughts

[fruitsalad]

Do you think parents are somehow to blame if their adult child gets into trouble with the law, or should they be old enough to know better?

[Samuraisan]

Ah the old "nature versus nuture " a bit of both I suppose, us parents instill our valies and morals into our children, but then it's up to them and, unfortunately the friends they make. If they get involved with a bad crowd, it is difficult and can be heartbreaking.

[Old_Geezer]

Lots of folk should know better, but don't.

One could point out that if the child was brought up better the adult would know how to act and take responsibility.

That said I never had kids so do not know, when things go awry, whether the child was uncontrollable and the parents the victim; or the parents not doing a good parenting job which is the reason the adult messes up. Maybe it's some of one and the rest of the other.

Ultimately the parents have got away with it once the offspring is of an age to be held personally responsible, anyway. So if your question was about the parents being legally responsible, then no, they wash their hands of their offspring's behaviour by then.

[Mamyalynne]

Everyone is someone's child - so they don't commit a crime until they are forty and we visit on the parents?


I think not.

[Mamyalynne]

^ visit it on...

[askyourgran]

Mine have never been in trouble with the law. But if they did, however old they were, I would be there for them. Parents generally know their children and those who have been brought up properly tend not to stray out of respect for their family. The chance of one getting into bad company of course is always there.

[Baldric]

If they are an adult they should know better imo.

[Peter Pedant]

I am assisting a co worker whose kid seems to have gone 'bad'
he is completely proof against any logical argument

as in X is against the law if you sell X you will go to prison ..... [duh]
get a job like the rest of us and if you turn up for work you get paid like the rest of us

and he gives us looks of 'what on earth are you on about ?'

[ummmm]

No, not if they first get into trouble as adults. If they've never been in trouble until they are adults it's completely down to the individual, not the parents.

[TWR]

My parents were decent people, 4 of us brought up right, one turned out to steal £10.000 off his own Mother!

[ummmm]

See...you never can tell. I do believe in nurture but some people are naughty by nature.

[EDDIE51]

One problem now is that 'traditional' family's are becoming the exception rather than the rule. I certainly know more one parent family's than ones where there are two parents as a role models.
I am 65 now, married 41 years,5 children 3 boys 2 girls. The 2 eldest boys are married and in stable happy marriages with 7 children between the 2 family's. The 2 girls are both single Mum's with 5 children between them. The youngest boy is still single.
None of my 12 grandchildren have been in trouble.
The youngest daughter has 3 children by a man who is a 'waste of space' in my opinion. An unemployed drug addict and part time drug dealer who hardly ever sees them does not support them financially and constantly makes promises that he does not keep. I act as far as possible as a substitute father to them, I love them dearly and they are wonderful caring intelligent children. Obviously I love all my children and grand children unconditionally, but I can't help but feel a special bond with the 3 'fatherless' grand kids.
Children are never 'ours' to own! They are individuals with their own intellect and personality,It is just that for a few years we have the privilege to be able to teach them our values and be role models for life.

[ummmm]

Eddie - you sound really sweet. My dad would be very much like you.

[EDDIE51]

Thanks Ummmm, problem is there are too few of us around.
It is heartbreaking when the 3 'fatherless' kids get excited because he says he is going to come and see them only to be let down yet again.