How Do I Put It ?

[tamaris]

It has been left to me to tell someone they are not suitable to join our quiet group, for learning a language.
I met the person who seems very nice, but is very animated and is involved with someone that is a bit of a loose canon. I fear she is looking more for a 'coffee morning' out.

[Old_Geezer]

How about having a quite word along the lines of, "We're pleased to see you but your friendly extrovert manner is a little distracting, and we don't seem to be making the progress on the language that we used to. Are you looking for a more social activity ?" And maybe have some group/club suggestions if the answer is, "Yes". Otherwise the hint has been dropped and perhaps she will either quiet down a bit, or decide this isn't really for her.

[tamaris]

She hasnt actually joined yet I said we could take her but after meeting her I dont think she would fit in x

[woofgang]

Is she a friend of yours? I fear that whatever you say you may lose her as a friend.
I think I’d say that you were sorry but its a group decision and the group had decided that it did not wish to add new members at this time....whatever the response then stick to that line, just keep repeating it. If she says “but you said I could join” then say “I am sorry, I was mistaken"

[AB Editor]

Did you meet in the context that the group meets in? Maybe she will calm down when she sees what the group is like?

Although, I suppose you might feel it's too late once she's got her foot in the door?

[tamaris]

No we are not friends I only had a meeting with her yesterday about her joining the group. I do not wish to offend her.

[tamaris]

No Ed I suggested we meet for a coffee in town. We have someone who goes away for weeks at a time and then returns to the group. I said she could come to the group when the other lady was away.

[ummmm]

Maybe she was nervous.

I'm quite shy but you wouldn't know it if you spoke to me, according to my friends. Inside I'm having a little panic, outwardly I'm chatting and trying to appear okay.

Maybe if you gave her a chance and when she feels comfortable the animation will die down.

[hc4361]

Just tell her your very sorry but the space has already been filled. Another member of the group had set something up without your knowledge.

[ethandron]

Let her join you, she'll probably get fed up of your 'quiet' group very quickly if she's looking for something more social and will stop coming. As Ummmm says, she may actually turn out to be a nice addition to the group but if you don't give her a chance you'll never know.

[tamaris]

It is fun we have a good laugh.