Leaving home?

[miffy63]

When should your children leave home. My son is 19yrs and is never home preferring to stay at a friends flat in town 8 miles away (we live in a village 2 miles from a train station). He comes home every few days leaving dirty washing and eats but then doesn't wash up. He's an only child so I probably let him get away with murder but I'm coming round to the idea that maybe the next step is for him to leave the nest, that said I would never throw him out.

[tali122]

i moved out of my mom's house when i was 35 - with wife and 3 kids!

[mousey9t]

hi miffy! my son is 25yrs and daughter 18yrs both still at home! why would they want to leave home when we(mums) make them soo comfortable! both of mine have tvs,computer,hifi,double beds (changed twice a week) meals cooked for them,their washing and ironing done,come and go as they please, hmm! dont think mine will ever leave ;)

[miffy63]

Hi Mousey! I think you're right he'll probably never leave home, us mum's make living at home too easy and what's more I enjoy looking after him though I suspect I've spoilt him for life!

[B00]

Mine left home at 17 because she was "sick of being treated like a child" and moved in with her boyfriend. Two month later she returned- she hadn't bargained on the harsh realities of living on what you earned ;-)

[WendyS]

Hi mousey - you probably don't mind slaving your guts out for your kids but just think for a moment of what a rod you are making for the backs of their eventual partners who will blame their laziness on you ! They say that behind every lazy husband is a mother !! They're adults now and your son particularly should be pulling his weight in terms of helping around the house. Go on strike for a week. No washing, no cooking, no laundry and see if the message gets through.

[loobie]

Hi Miffy,

I think it's really hard nowadays to judge on when kids should move out. I am 23 and still living at home. I want to move out and move in with my boyfiend but the cost of house prices compared with what the banks are willing to give as a mortgage make it absolutely impossible at the minute. To rent would be a waste of money as we are trying to save. So I guess it just depends on what your son's situation is and whether he can actually afford to move out.

But like Wendy says, try to stop all the stuff that you do for him. My boyfriends mum does everything for him and I know that he will take a lot of educating in running his own home!!

[lilyfrog]

I moved out of home at 20 and not a day to soon. I had ben dying to leave for the last year but there was no point as I was going to university and was relying on parents for support. I think it doesn't matter too much how much you do for children, the naturalpont will come when your sin wants his independence more than his mums cooking, however, I do feel that at this age he should be doing his own cooking etc etc and if he is working hee should be payiing rent.

[miffy63]

Do you think mum's tend to do more for their sons than daughters? My sister has a daughter and she's much more independent, growing up she did alot more around the house. I'm a single mother and I've tried to get my son to be more domesticated but the interest just isn't there, He'd happily live in a mess!

[simsfreq]

I'm 18 and find myself staying at friends' houses 40-50% of the time. Just talk to him. Ask him to make a decision - if he wants to stay living at home, he has to pull his weight around the house and if he doesn't, say that's fine too.

[maggie01]

My daughter left home at 18. She didn't like house rules and was always staying at friends houses. Never knew exactly where she was or when she was coming home. In a temper, I told her should would be happier living with one of her friends and this she did. It was a shock when she went but she survived it and it was much more peacefull at home. I do think girls are more indipendent though.

[girl_lesbian]

Hey, I moved out a couple of months ago and I'm 23. I only waited so long because I was at university for 4 years and could not afford a mortgage. If I had not been at uni, i would have left earlier. Stop doing things like your sons washing and get him to do them himself. Thats what my mum did and it worked lol.