Church Ladies With Typewriters............

[Shaglene]

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight:' Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM
The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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[murraymints]

lol

[Patsy33]

Laugh out loud stuff! Thanks :-)

[marval]

lol

"Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."

[jourdain2]

Lovely! Wish I could print it off for our Church mag.. :)

[marval]

The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6pm. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

[Canary42]

:-D :-D :-D

[marval]

The concert held in the Fellowship Hall was a great success.
Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who laboured the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

[EDDIE51]

Only just seen this but it's the best laugh I have had in years!
Jourdain copy it (CTRL plus left click on the mouse, scroll down. At least on my laptop) then paste it on your email .

[Togo]

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

[Togo]

http://pastors.com/44-funny-church-bulletin-bloopers-to-make-you-smile/

[Togo]

Thursday at 5:00 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.

[Togo]

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

[Togo]

http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2414781

Haha Shagle good one.