Behaviour - bedtime

[TrishaP]

My 9 year old son is getting more and more difficult to put to bed. He goes to bed fine but will not stay in bed or even in his room. I have tried taking away his favorite games i.e. playstation, computer etc for set periods as punishment. I have tried banning treats such as parties etc but all he does is shrug his sholders and say 'I don't care' I have tried talking to him to find out why but get the same answer - 'I don't know' each time. It is getting later and later sometimes past 11 at night. He has also begun to blatently lie saying he is not getting out of bed and that it is the dog I can hear moving about... I cannot actually catch him out of bed as he hears me coming and dashes back to his bed so that by the time I reach his room he is in bed..... During the day he is a normal 9 year old and actually quite good doing as he is told fairly quickly. I realise he is trying to see how far he can go but I am lost as to what to do now as nothing seems to be working. I have considered a reward chart but feel he will not care if he does not get any stars etc as he does not care when I take away any toys or treats. Any ideas please?

[devilwoman]

its difficult at this age to know what to do about sleeplesness and getting out of bed though i dont think it helps him having the playstation/ computer in his room, is there anyway you could put these in a different room to where he sleeps? is he tired enough to sleep? how about putting his bedtime an hour later? bedtime routine a small snack such as a piece of toast/ a bowl of cereal , bath and a story, he's still young enough to enjoy the cuddles and closeness from mum. instead of star chart which may seem a bit babyish to him how about 50p a night if he stays quietly in bed each night, if theres some toy or game he really wants this could be a real incentive to save up for it. hope some of these suggestions help, dont forget lots of encouragement and attention during the day and let him know how much you love him, good luck

[spanner7853]

definately a difficult one I had this problem with my son, admittedly he was 5 or 6 at the time and the chart thing worked first time. i used to put a smily face on it every day he slept in his bed and didnt get up then when he filled the chart i bought him something. The only other problem your son could be having is nightmares or something is scaring him and that may be why he doesn't want to sleep. Could be worth speaking to him about or discuss with your doctor. Your son may have insomnia and may not be able to sleep.
good luck x

[Ms.Hijinx]

make him stay up but he has to watch adult tv like panorama or documentaries and stay up til you go to bed he has to make adult conversation there are no toys, games or snacks, mine got bored hope he does too also try putting a hidden baby monitor in his room if he wants to play the game mum must win good luck

[Stretts]

You probably already have a routine - teeth, wee, bed? Try reading to him or get your partner to read to him. Choose a short story, particularly one you used to like. It's great one to one time and hopefully relaxing for everyone. The other thing is to wear the little darling out with excercise - cycling, football, visit to the park etc.
Finally I've got three boys 10,8 & nearly 6 and they're all different in bedtimes and getting up. Good Luck

[myselfness]

i know this sounds odd, but if you can get him jsut to stay in his room its a help, my parents always said that you have to give the kids a set bed time, and even if they dont sleep as long as the adults have their own time and the child stays where he's meant to its alot better. Try setting times... say go to his room at 9 to play for an hour, and then maybe reading time....

thought it might help x