relationship

[regreg]

I am falling in love with my girlfriends best friend. we have had some flings and have spent a lot of time together in the past and its now getting to the stage where I cant stop thinking of her. Its starting to affect my own relationship and I dont know what to do. I want to be honest but I know the consequences will be severe but I cant help the way I feel. I am so upset and confused by this whole thing. I cant believe its happening. Her friend is also in a relationship. its so complicated and a lot of people could get hurt. But I just cant ignore my fellings and I dont want to just carry on with everything to keep everyone else happy. I know she too is confused.... please does anyone have any advice that might help me.

[Greedyfly]

First of all you need to seperate from existing girlfriend - because even if her friend isnt interested this must show you that you are no longer really wanting to stay in this relationship?!. Then I would suggest talking to the girl in question, ask her how she feels, if its more than just a couple of flings etc... If you can determine her real feelings then you will know where you stand. Then if she feels enough for you to leave her partner then you may lose two friends but you will gain another loving relationship that could blossom much further. At the end of the day you can't go on the way you are because it may go too far and you may lose everything and will hurt your girlfriend much more to find out that you have feelings for someone else whilst being with her. You have to bite the bullet my friend.........Good luck!

[andy hughes]

This is a really tricky one. You must be sure that your apparently strong feelings are not the result of a crisis within your own relationship. The rosy glow of an imaginary relationship can look far more attractive that an exisitng one with problems, but that doesn't mean that this is a viable future for you. Confirming your feelings is a step forward from which you cannot step back, so you need to be very sure indeed of your future before you embark on any life-chaning decisions. If in any doubt at all, do nothing. You need to put your energies into your current relationship and ensure that it is beyond redemtion. Then you can be sure you are not losing anything by exploring a possible future relationship with your girlfriend's friend. You need to be sure that your feelings really are returned, not just because you'd like them to be. This needs careful thought, and plenty of it before you do anything that may wreck everyone's relationships. Good luck

[smudge]

Well Greedyfly & andy hughes, I also wanted to reply to this question, but there is nothing more to add to your comments. Both your replies were very helpful. Two very sensible & sensitive people!