Headline In Local Paper?

[EDDIE51]

What is the most pointless headline you have seen in your local paper?
Mine today has 'Couple Shocked By Rat Response'
A pensioner couple spotted rats in a supermarket car park and reported it to the staff.
The staff 'were not interested and seemed to treat it as a joke' according to the paper.
Can you better that?

[Hopkirk]

Is it cheating to post this link?

http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2017/04/03/17-local-newspaper-stand-headlines-either-mundanely-hilarious-just-hilarious/

[Hopkirk]

...and this one

http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2011/08/13/local-newspaper-story-of-the-week/

[EDDIE51]

Great headlines Hopkirk had me laughing out loud.
I always like this one even if it's not a newspaper
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=family+planning+use+back+door&tbm=isch&imgil=yGNYh1urAX3LMM%253A%253Bte-jSMkFGRbHtM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.collegehumor.com%25252Fpost%25252F6758310%25252Ffamily-planning-advice-use-rear-entrance&source=iu&pf=m&fir=yGNYh1urAX3LMM%253A%252Cte-jSMkFGRbHtM%252C_&usg=__OXOfdIK2eo-PeXlQqHgbLupkhvA%3D&biw=1366&bih=662&ved=0ahUKEwjezb23mujTAhXqAcAKHZwYAMEQyjcINA&;ei=A4oUWZ7ALOqDgAacsYCIDA#imgrc=yGNYh1urAX3LMM:

[fiction-factory]

Yes, some belters here
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/06/26/funny-local-news-headlines_n_7672110.html

[fiction-factory]

Going a bit wider afield, these made me spill my cup of tea
http://list25.com/25-unintentionally-funny-newspaper-headlines/

[Toorak]

Fabulous ff!!!

[jno]

as I said, all you need is the Argus (though I suspect some of these have been faked)

http://tinyurl.com/m52c6fy