At The Florist!

[Berniecuddles2]

Me: A nice bunch of flowers for the wife please

Florist: Certainly, sir. Are you looking for anything particular?

Me:sex hopefully

[DTCwordfan]

then you need one of these, cuddles, https://i0.wp.com/seriouslyguys.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/anthurium.png?resize=525%2C290

[Berniecuddles2]

next time instead i'll go to the chemist and buy her some paracetamol!!

[Tilly2]

You should have saved your money and gone to Hotel Chocolat!

[Berniecuddles2]

is that nr bournville x

[DTCwordfan]

My Sunday offering.

After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her."

Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?" So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that Was enjoyable."

And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve." And Adam said, "What is a caress'? So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.

Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss." And the Lord said, "You've done well, Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve." And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?"' So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds.

And Adam said, "Lord, what is a headache?"

[Berniecuddles2]

LOL

[marval]

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead sees her boyfriend buying her flowers.

The Redhead sighs and says: 'Oh bother, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again.'

The blonde looks quizzically at her and says: 'You don't like Getting flowers from your boyfriend?'

The redhead replies: 'I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air.'

The blonde says, 'Don't you have a vase?'

[Berniecuddles2]

Lol marval

[DTCwordfan]

lol.....haven't heard that one before