Update On Son

[mallyh]

things are going from bad to worse.i'm getting loads of nasty text because I won't give him money ,I've offered food and to wash his clothes .his sister found him a shelter who said they would give him a bed and feed him but he didn't bother going .he sits in the town everyday on the path outside a shop ,very scanky and unkempt.there is no way we can have him home again .I can't see a good outcome ,we have tried to help him so much and told him if rehab failed it was his last chance with us .even the drug councillors and police said don't give him money as he will just buy drugs with it ,looks like I've lost my lovely son for good as the person he is on drugs is not a nice person .sorry to be so negative but I just need to get this off my chest as it's breaking us .

[albaqwerty]

any child, irrespective of age, (40, 30. 20, 10) will attempt to make their parents feel guilty when the parents have nothing to feel guilty about.
Doesn't stop us feeling guilty tho.

Can I ask, and please don't answer if it's uncomfortable. Is he begging outside the shop he sits at?

[EDDIE51]

Drug users are masters at manipulating you to try to extract money.
They rely on making you feel guilty. Do not give in it will only make things worse.

[mallyh]

I've been told by friends he is just sitting there but I expect he hopes people will give him something ,

[NoMercy]

Mally, people make their own decisions in life and no amount of love and support can prevent them making bad ones.

You have not failed as a parent, you've done everything you can humanly do. Now it's time to start focusing on yourself.

[mallyh]

I have to let my head rule now ,not my heart but it is so hard I actually saw him down town( he didn't see me )two people spoke to him and then he went into costas .

[Patsy33]

Your heart is broken Mallyh. You can't do anymore. It's up to him now. What you are doing is an act of love. Let's hope he finds the strength to turn himself around and get the help he needs. Look after yourself sweetheart. x

[mallyh]

thankyou x

[marval]

This is so sad for you Mallyh, but you have done your best. You have to look after yourselves now. Hopefully he will hit rock bottom and realise that is not a place he wants to be.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. xx

[Smowball]

Not quite the same mallyh, but my in laws are in a sort of similar situation. Their youngest ( my brother in law) is addicted to weed and they have also found out he is taking cannabis too. He has also developed a severe gambling addiction and has been diagnosed as scitzophrenic , though everyone is doubtful about that. He lives in supported housing but only because his parents fought for two years for it. He gets £200 pw benefits but if he has control over it then he spends the entire lot in an hour but won't say where or what on. So they give it daily now via bank transfer but within 30 mins he's on their doorstep saying he has no money, need a beer etc etc....... they are at their absolute wits end.
I really feel for you but please do not feel guilty about anything as you have done your absolute best xx

[Eleena]

Mallyh, how are things?

[maggiebee]

So sorry to hear of the position you are in mallyh. You can still love a person without liking them (or what they are doing). Be strong.