scared to go for poo's

[mrxyrus]

please please help me.my daughter is scared to go for a poo, she does'nt even eat cause if she does she knows it will have to come out.she has seen the doctor and they have given her laxatives but she still holds it in. her whole mood & attitude has changed. she comes in and lays on the settee. she does not play with friends, toys or anything & i am fed up of replacing soiled underwear.

[PinkFizz]

How awful for you and your girl.How old is she?

[noxlumos]

You may find that it's because she's in pain when she goes to the loo. My sister's daughter had the same thing at about 6-8 years of age and she was in agony every time she tried to poo poor kid. She was treated for piles in the end high in her colon as when she went to the loo she was passing blood in the end. It took a change of Dr to get anything done mind you as the previous one just prescribed laxatives and said it was probably "her nerves".She was very upset and ashamed about the whole thing which obviously made it much worse, but after they'd dealt with it she was fine. she eats a good diet too so no-one could understand why she had such terrible trouble.Hope you get it sorted out and try to stay sympathetic however hard it is on you with the soiled underwear problems.

[Hellion]

mrxyrus I sypathise my son (now 8) used to have this problem too, it started just after he started school and once went for 7 days without actually going. You have to stay very patient which is hard when dealing with all the soiled pants. Apparently it's not uncommon. I would sit him on the toilet we took the cassette player and books and I would get him to sit there until he'd been (once 3 hours) but not as an unpleasant experience. I could see he was 'holding on to it' and in the end I tickled him at which point he couldn't hold on. I resorted to 'reward' (or bribery whichever you prefer) in the end, a sticker didn't do it for him it had to be something really worth having so it was books and CD's ( everyone else is probably appalled at this point but mrxyrus you will know exactly what I mean!). He also got loads of praise from everyone too. Also feeding her things like grapes and sweetcorn might help and lots of water to keep poo soft - when they hold on to it it gets hard so going is painful which is often why they stop going in the first place. We also played a game to see 'what letterof the alphabet the poo would look like' Son very proud the day he did an 'O'!

She's probably not eating because her bowel is so full she hasn't got room not because she is frightened of going, same goes for lethargy. My son when he did go would do what my sister called 'pan crackers' and when you see how much poo can come out of a small child you'll understand why she doesn't want to run around!!

In short there is no easy answer just be as patient as you can it does eventually pass (no pun intended!)

Good Luck.

[Drusilla1S]

I think her poo needs to be loosened up considerably and would agree with the other posters that she needs lots of fruit and water to help this process. I give my daughters a bowl of all bran every morning, but it's covered in banana slices, grape halves and fresh berries to help keep them regular and their faeces soft.

I've also found that Greek yoghurt helps me get rid of that bloated feeling that accompanies constipation. I would imagine ordinary yoghurt would have the same effect.

I had to laugh at the 'pan cracker' comment by Hellion. Loved it!

[xmrs_harmanx]

you should try speaking to her and make it plain that she shouldn't be embarased about the matter and remember you aren't alone you need to try and give her lot's of support and make her realise that she needs to eat. To do this you can make eating fun pretending its an aeroplane etc. (depending on age) and make it fun for her to go to the toilet by making your bathroom brighter splash out on some toys for the toilet too. Give her reewards for going to, like a sticker chart it may seem like bribing but it is rightful encouragement and is good learning and discipline excercises. Good luck!

[mrxyrus]

Firstly can i thank everybody for their kind support.My daughter (chantelle) is 8. I admit i am not the most patient person in the world & do get very frustrated that whatever i try to do, i seem to get nowhere. I do try to get her to drink lots of water & give her grapes, fruit & yoghurt in her packed lunch everyday. I have even thought of contacting a child psychologist who specialises in this field in the hope they may get to the root of the problem. I do need to be more patient & hopefully Hellion, as you say, it might pass. Once again thankyou everyone....Ady

[o8sp]

as well as an increase in fibre she needs to drink loads. also have you tried lactulose? it just draws water into the bowel and helps keep the stools soft making it easier/ less painful for your daughter to pass. you can get it at the chemists. if you do try it make sure she has plenty of fluids.

good luck

[housemover]

my daughter is 3 and has always had this problem. We use lactulose and it does help and is not at all harmful. Definately need a lot of fluids and good diet but our problem is also psychological, she just can't be bothered to go so alot of blackmail is used too! This also works!
But dont worry, its a very common problem and also runs in families.

[Solarjunkie]

Believe it or not, one of the easiest places to "go" is in the bath. Much easier to relax in the warm water and of course relaxing is what it's all about.
If the child is old enough for explanations, it can be explained that is only when "your tummy's poorly" and not the start of a new trend, and the "pan crackers" that appear are not really too difficult to deal with.
Pop child in bath, possibly kneeling, turn on radio/cd and then hover on landing, within hearing but offering privacy, if it is wanted. Keep water warm, keep chin up! Good luck.

[zarza]

I know just how you are feeling, my little boy (8) has always suffered with doing number two's. Infact he is now so frightened of going "because it will hurt" that he walks around and around for hours. We have tried, reward charts, prizes, taking the gameboy, books, music ect. Sometimes i get so frustrated I could scream. His prolem affects the whole family and I am close too breaking point. There has been little help out there, but fortunatly we met a nice understanding doctor who runs a clinic for constipated children and we have an appointment with her next week. So fingers crossed. Best whishes to those who need it. Your not alone.