is it over?

[nbruder]

i think i need to end my friendship with my "bestfriend".she is a selfish control freak with a princess complex. i became depressed in the fall and began to slip away from her and everyone else in my life(i have since then sought out professional help). i tried to explain to her i needed to be alone and work through my issues--i havent been myself or been able to be the friend she once knew. she cannot understand nor does she try--all she can say is what about me?what am i supposed to do?she only thinks of herself. i dont know what to tell her but her selfishness and inability to understand i need space has completely turned me off from our friendship and i think i have reached a point of no return. i wish i could go back, i do miss her. should i try to salvage this friendship or should i end it now?

[mibn2cweus]

Perhaps the one who most needs and deserves your friendship right now is yourself. The only rational/healthy basis for any kind of relationship between two or more individuals is for mutual benefit.

Humans possess needs and desires that demand fulfillment and these can create problems for us when we allow them take over and control us. Acknowledging this is the first step in taking control of them and directing them toward goals that are in our own best interest and will provide us with some personal satisfaction and respect for our need to make our life a worthwhile experience.

Sometimes the best we can do for those we care about is to leave them alone and let them live their lives. A relationship that leaves both parties unhappy with each other is an indication that this is the case.

Perhaps once you have regrouped with yourself, you will find there is a basis for continuing some kind of a relationship with your "best friend", but don't neglect the needs of your most important best friend, yourself. Take a break, get some rest and let yourself catch up with the you that has something of value to offer to someone else.

Just a little friendly advice I hope will help. Anyway, thanks for asking.

[Ms.Hijinx]

i have to sit on the fence here and say why shouldn't your friend be upset that you need time out when all this while she has been your best friend she probably feels like you are abandoning her what about all the trials in life that you have helped her through and now when its her turn to help you its sorry i need to be alone and to call her those names thats a bit unkind. on the other hand you are right when you say she could try and understand i think you may have outgrown this friendship and i hope you sort out your depression soon good luck

[Mei_Li]

My advice would be Yes, try and salvage the relationship, but abjectively. Realising it can never go back to what it was and that both of you need to adapt to the changes. The kind of bond best friends have is really important. Give it another go but if it still doesn't work part on good terms.
Another thing I'd suggest is; if your still seeing a councellor, talk to him or her about this, if its getting you down then it won't help in the bigger picture.

[Eejit]

i agree with ms.hijinx. You can ask for time but as a best friend thay need a better explanation. What if you needing time out is making her feel insecure, that you do not like her anymore etc. As long as you can help her understand then I'm sure your best friend will!