Money To My Ex Wife

[vonda]

Am I entitled to know what my ex is spending the money on which I give her for our son, who is now 17?

[cassa333]

Don't think so no.

[Islay]

Is your son still in full time education?
As long as your son is not dirty and starving and wearing ragged clothes I would say not, because the money you pay is for his cost of living ie keeping a roof over his head, feeding, clothing, heating, clubs etc

[kvalidir]

No of course not, it's entirely her affair how she spends that. She cares for your son and unless you are giving her hundreds and hundreds per week she's unlikely to have much left over.

[Islay]

In general terms it is normally paid whilst the child is in full time non advance education so it may be till 19!

[vonda]

He works part time, is clean and clothed because he buys all his own clothes, she doesn't cook him meals, he is at college, and she gets £430 per month for him! And now she's moaning because I have not earned enough to pay her this month and she has incurred bank charges, allegedly! Grrr

[Peter Pedant]

what is the nature of the settlement
court order - private arrangement
and what do the papers concerning the payments say ?

This is BM's area and perhaps she will be along soon

actually I think the short answer is no or very little
I agree that you have given her money to be spent on the child - and so a trust operates.
you are the settlor - she is the trustee and the lad is the beneficiary
settlors are very often dead so the books arent full of what duties they are owed.
Beneficiaries CAN make trustees do their job and so - if he is satisfied - see answers above - then I am not sure if you can intervene.

as for: "I think he should have bally lessons and not rugby lessons", I dont think you can. - - because she would say - "I am spending your money on this and that and spending my own money on the bits you dont like"

[Peter Pedant]

are you obliged to pay her maintenance that you agreed without asking her questions about where it went last time ?

yes honestly I think you are .....

[Islay]

Well he can't be earning that much to pay for his clothes and his food and his transport and his 'fun' money so she will be giving him something.
Is this something you agreed through the courts?
She is right to be miffed - He is your child and therefore your responsibility

[Peter Pedant]

I honestly thought this was on settlors' rights to monitor a trustee's performance
I'm thick I am

pay her the money for the kid
and yeah I agree with her suggestion that since the charges were incurred because you didnt pay - then you should repay the charges

[kvalidir]

Less than £100 per week and you're moaning? She will contribute far more than that to him and his keep. Their house wont be free!

[New Judge]

I think we've done all the ins and outs of what is payable and for how long:

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Law/Question1578184.html

Unless your son is clearly being neglected or disadvantaged by your ex I think you have no grounds to demand how the money you provide is spent.