Fishing Trip
On a fishing trip to Australia, I was terrified when the biggest croc I had ever seen came floating past the boat. Must have been a size 16 at least.
A man just hit me over the head with a device for limiting sound waves. I was baffled.
I’m a puppeteer, I had to pull a lot of strings to get the job.
Just bought a new pair of boxer shorts. I spoil that dog something rotten.
I just threw a frying pan for my dog, but he wouldn’t fetch. Then I realised, it’s non-stick.
What do you get when you cross a Greek with an Indian? Popadopadopadoms.
Did you know that in the UK there is an entire TV channel devoted to hair-dressing? It’s good, I’ve seen the highlights.
I was enjoying a coffee in a country cafe this morning when a posh guy on the table next to me burped loudly. I said, “Oi mate, where’s your manners?” He said, “Well old chap, I’ve got one in Hertfordshire and one in Kent.”