About The Worst Thing To Say ....

[rowanwitch]

When she arrived to see me the day after Dave died, my mother's second question was do you think you will look for someone else? I hadn't looked for Dave, and it was if nothing else thoughtless. I would be interested to know if anyone apart from WY, fell into a new relationship really soon after losing a partner. Was it loneliness, or just trying to fill the hole inside. ( that wasn't meant in a smutty way)

[rowanwitch]

He is not my type....nice enough but no way...

[bednobs]

it's not the same, but when i lost my children, there had to be a conscious decision as to whether i would try to get pregnant again, which is i suppose quite similar to making a decision to look for a ew relationship. People also sad a whole load of guff eg when i knew my first baby had died, but i still hadn't delivered her, people were asking me if i'd "try again" (there is a small gap between death and delivery of about three/four days usually) i wanted to slap the two people that asked me and remin them that i had a dead baby inside me, who was yet to be born. 3 days after my last baby dies last year, my mu said to me "promise me you'll never be in this situation again". Again, i wanted to slap her! People want to make themselves feel better at times like this,

[ummmm]

Thoughtless comments, Bednobs.

[rowanwitch]

Some things take time and consideration, , some things are a matter of instinct for what feels right, and only the person concerned knows how much they can cope with in risking further pain and loss

[bednobs]

people just want to make themselves feel better, and also, in the case of mums i think they just want to save you pain and see you happy

[kvalidir]

People can be such tactless, thoughtless morons Bednobs, so sorry :(

[jno]

actually, it sounds quite a thoughtful comment, rowan, just a bit too soon. She obviously doesn't like to think of you being alone. Maybe you'll never look for anyone else, but nobody knows what the future holds. I've heard it said on here that people who've been loved once are the most likely to find love again, looking for it or not.

[rowanwitch]

Well I certainly wasn't looking for love when I came to AB but if life opens a door sometimes you walk through it. This time there wasn't a monster hiding there.

[Kate-Kross]

Everyone copes with his loss as he can, you shouldn't to despair and live on