evil son!

[stylinsam]

Hey Guys need a bit of your expert help!
I was having a chat to my mum last night and she was telling me about one of her friends (lets call her betty) who gets beaten by her son. Her son is 14 years old and was arrested a few days ago because he held a knife up to her throat, my mum then found out that he beat her regularly !
My mum comforted her but says she is lost for words and doesn't no what to say to her.

Bettys husband died a few years ago (her sons father) and has been a single parent since!
She says she doesn't want to give up on her son (he is and only child) but needs to sort him out. He is a very tall a chubby boy so it is very hard for her to fight him of!

Have you guys any suggestions on how to deal with this. I thought maybe a boot camp but this could make him worse in the long run!
Any ideas thanks guys samx

[philandlil]

report him to social services, they would have to help if it was the son getting beaten, so they should help.

or you could get a large guy to go round and have a word with him.

[redcrx]

I agree with philandlil's first option. Have words with social services. They must be able to help curb this bad behaviour. If he continues he could be without a home and mother so surely helping now saves trouble in the longterm.

A boot camp sounds great but must cost a fortune.

[Dizzieblonde]

Could she contact social services and say she no longer wants to be his guardian? Not sure if you can *ask* for your child to be taken into care, as such - ? It's cruel, but it might make him thing about what he's done. Failing that, report him to the police and get him charged for it.

[kazminx]

i think womens aid would be a good start as it would be confidential. i work with the group for various reasons and they are excellent.

[Dizzieblonde]

Might find some useful info. on here, with 'phone numbers and links to a couple of charities. Legally, it seems it still comes under the remit of domestic violence even though it's mother/son.

http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/crime-victims/red ucing-crime/domestic-violence/

[laurence2]

Has her son only been behaving like this since he lost his dad?

If so i would get the social services, doctors etc involved ASAP as their are no excuses whatsoever to hold a knife to his mums throat, obviously with no father figure around, hes going to become more rebelious, aggresive, abusive & violent, the mother has to act now by whatever means available before he stars mixing with the wrong type and starts getting into SERIOUS trouble, i know it will be difficult for the mother to report him, especially it being her only child, but you have to be cruel to be kind in life at times, and this is one of them times, get him the help he needs or shop him to the police/social services before things get really out of hand

Hope all works out well for them both

[crete]

whatever the circumstances it is abuse even if the boy is fourteen,he must be made aware thay assault cannot be tollerated, social services must get involved and an assessment could be made to include his behaviour outside the family home e g school, mum should be offered a support group eg womens aid and counselling what a sad situation

[jiggy-gb]

My mum looks after kids who've come out of care, gets them ready for living on their own etc. She has many cases where the kids have been violent to their parents and the parents couldn't cope so they contacted Social Services. My mum only gets to see the really bad ones, most go back to their folks after only a short time of being in care, they realise what side their bread's buttered!
I would get her to contact Social Services for some advice first off, then between them they can plan what to do next.

[daftpixie]

When he was arrested, did the Police ask if she was prepared to have him home? If she says no, then the Police have to contact Social Services re accommodation. However, Social Services will do their upmost to put pressure on for her to take him back. The sad thing is, as it is him assaulting her, SS are often reluctant to get involved rather than in the cases where it is the other way round.

Was he charged? If so, Youth Offending Team should have been informed, and they are the agency that can provide parenting support and intervention etc. Depending on the area your friend is in, and how stretched the agencies are, things have to get really bad before people get help. I know that they are already shocking, however, sadly, there are so many cases like this these days, almost like its starting to become the norm, as crazy as that sounds.

Boot camps cost a fortune, but do work for some, but often only for the familys that can afford to keep their kids at camp for months on end until they are so desperate to come home they will learn to behave!

Womens aid would be an excellent place to get advice too, especially if your friend doesnt want to go down the care route, and as I said, even if she did, Social Services are governed by purse strings, and will only re home in the worst case scenario. I used to work in a challenging behaviour unit, and we cost �4500 per child per WEEK!

I hope that things work out, I have experienced very similar situations in my family life and through work, and it is extremely difficult for all involved.

[stylinsam]

sorry havnt replied sooner iv had a really busy morning! i will suggest these options to my mum so that she can tell her as ( im not suppose to no) thanks for the help guys your great xxx