Sky Diving

[marval]

My friend and I were arguing on a sky diving plane the other day, anyway I fell out with him.

My friend recently had a nasty accident with a lawnmower.
They had to do a com-post mortem.

My partner and I are tying the knot tomorrow. At this rate we will have our tent erected by the end of the week.

I always confuse the words exotic and erotic. Which just made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.

I went to buy a masonry drill earlier. I was stood there, with one trouser leg rolled up but none of the staff in B&Q knew the secret handshake.

I have been asked to do a stand up gig for a dried fruit company. I am just waiting for them to get back to me with some dates.

I was in B&Q today looking for some bathroom flooring. An employee came over to me and said, “Did you know some tiles are worth 10 times more than regular ones?” I said, “Really? Have you got any?” He said, “Yes. Here’s a ‘Q’ and here’s a ‘Z’.”

I witnessed a robbery at my local Locksmith the other day. I got told I was a key witness.

I am in court accused of the murders of Dracula and Monte Cristo. I am pleading guilty to both Counts.

I once had a job as a bus conductor. No matter how hard I tried, I could never get a tune out of them.

[Patsy33]

Lol.. good ones, Marval.