I Have Lost
After receiving a very persuasive e-mail, I have started on the African Prince diet. I have lost 1,000 pounds already.
I was asked to man the phones at work the other day. So I went round and drew a little moustache on all of them.
My son is being forced to smoke by our French exchange student. Pierre Pressure.
I was always better at Geography than Maths. When asked “what is long division?” I answered “The Berlin Wall”.
I see it is the inventor of the boomerang’s birthday today. Can I be the first to wish him ‘Many Happy Returns’.
We can’t decide where to go for our holiday this year, Portugal or Greece. My partner was leaning towards Greece. I wish he would stand up straight when I am talking to him.
A man came up to me and he said "Yellow, cyan, magenta". I said, "don’t talk to me in that toner voice."
A Lorry carrying Multi Purpose Cleaner has overturned on the motorway. Locals say its the worst case of Flash Flooding that they’ve ever seen.
There is a remote tribe that worships the number Zero. Is nothing sacred?
As a doctor/chef, it is not often that all my skills are required at once. Today was an exception though. In the middle of cooking dinner, I had to cure the ham.