Everything's So Bad At The Moment

[dunnitall]

Hate having to admit to saying how bad I'm feeling ATM and even not to coping.... My OH is in hospital over twenty miles away and I'm now housebound so cannot get to see him, thank goodness for family who are helping out in every direction they can. This is the second week and it's going to be couple of months before he will be home.

It was a rush admission, he has had his leg amputated from below the knee, we never expected that as it was just going to be the toe! I am feeling so low and because I have ulcerated legs I am having daily community nurses to dress wounds, I can do hardly anything myself as my legs are so painful.

Only saviour is FaceTime where we can talk occasionally. I am alone a couple of days a week except for nurses popping in and a carer coming to heat me a dinner. My life is never going to be any better because of the condition I have, so whilst I'm not suicidal (too much of a wuss to do anything such thing) I just wish my life would end.

I feel so guilty I'm thinking of myself when at OH's age everything is so difficult for him and he must be going through hell? I miss him so much and everything is in slow motion and I really can't see ahead.

[dunnitall]

Oh thank you all and Tiggs I do hope you find a solution xx my OH is faring well, it's me who isn't I just have to hold the faith but in all honesty and I am a born again realist, if I carked it he would cope with my daughter at hand. It's me who is the burden and I'm a realist, nota dramatist....I know the score. I am too much of a wuss to do what shud be done.....my daughter would cope better and so wudOH.

I am in so much pain and discomfort it is difficult to cope with and bear. With my other chronic illnesses it's like hell on wheels here, and yet I'm not someone who feels sorry for myself.

I think we all know when our time comes but we don't always get what we want. Sorry to moan on...I feel so guilty all round. Thank god for Answer Bank I say....

[marval]

Please don't think of yourself as a burden Dunnitall. I know it is a difficult situation for you, but you are very precious to your family.

I am sorry to hear about your uncle, hope that things can look up soon. xx

[tiggerblue10]

Don't say that Dunnitall, I'm sure your family love you and doubt very much they think you a burden.

Very sorry to hear about your uncle as well.

[maggiebee]

Sorry to hear that you have problems with your voice, didn't enter my head when I suggested phoning Samaritans. You can also contact them by email. Their address is: [email protected]. Maybe something worth considering. You sound as if you are in a really dark place at the moment but I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel for you. Take care x

[Maydup]

Might it help to have some company for an hour every so often dunni? Do you know about the national befriending scheme where local people volunteer to pop in for a chat?

Have a look and see what you think.

https://www.befriending.co.uk/about/find-a-befriender/