My Mum Passed Away

[phleb]

I'm finding it so hard. I feel so guilty. I want her back. She was my world. I miss her.

[phleb]

I can’t cope so I’ve been taking tramadol every day to sleep and stay in a daze, then I don’t think about anything. I’m very unhappy since my mum left and I can’t cope with life anymore. I can’t see a doctor, I hate them!why did she go and leave me, she knew it would break me in a million pieces. I hate that I answered her back and told her I was busy some days. I hate that I might have made her unhappy. I just wish she told me if she was happy with me before she went....I cannot describe the depth of my feelings!

[Mamyalynne]

She didn't leave you to hurt you, she was tired and ill and more than that she knew she had dome a wonderful job of bringing you up.

I'm sure if she hadn't been so weary she would have told you how very proud she was and that you should embrace life with all the joy she taught you about.

Be kind to yourself Phleb ad get some help tapering off the Tramadol, you don't need that brain fog on top of everything else.

[Mamyalynne]

sorry for the typos.x

[gness]

Oh my, Phleb..... you are on a bad way.
Please contact Cruse. They will support you for as long as you need them to.......x

[gness]

Typos here also. It’s upsetting to read how you’re suffering just now. You do need someone to listen to you and help you through these feelings.

[marval]

I am sorry to hear this Phleb, your Mum didn't want to leave you.

I agree with you talking to someone who will understand what you are going through.

Just keep all your memories, and you have nothing to feel guilty about.

[Theland]

Phleb - there is nothing worse than losing your Mum.
Regrets, guilt, they are all natural emotions, and aspects of grief.
But she was a Mum, and so loved you. You could do nothing wrong in her eyes.
Honour her by being the best human being you can be. Do it for yourself, do it for your Mum.
That is the best memorial you can build for your Mum, a kind caring life.
You will get through this, and you have my sympathy.

[237SJ]

Your Mum wasn't unhappy. She loved you as all Mothers do

[Old_Geezer]

When your time is up it's not like you have any choice to not go. But maybe being logical isn't a great help.

Take comfort in the fact that the down times don't last forever. Life inevitably has ups & downs and things will swing the other way.
Human beings are resilient and you will find the strength to cope in time.

We all can find incidents where we think we weren't perfect, it's part of being human. Don't beat yourself up about things you recall. I'm sure your mother wouldn't want you to, but she isn't able to tell you now. No point in regrets from either of you.

Let it all out now; save taking a deep breath and coping better for another day.

[chrissa1]

Your Mum wouldn’t want you to feel guilty. She loved you. I worry about how m

[chrissa1]

Sorry. My daughter will be when I pass away. I know she loves me with all her heart as do I her but, life is life and death is death. I worry that it will affect her in a bad way and don’t want that for her,

I sure your Mum felt the same way....... Grieve, be sad, but be happy and fulfilled that you were together and loved each other.

[237SJ]

You always feel guilty when a loved one dies. That is completely nornal

[Ellipsis]

I've never heard of Cruse, recommended by Gness above, but it looks like they could help you phleb:

https://www.cruse.org.uk/get-help/helpline

Their lines open at 9:30 tomorrow morning and you can call them free on 0808 808 1677.

[gness]

Thank you for putting up the link, Ellipsis. I have a friend who, after the death of her young husband, was in the same state as Phleb is now.
She had tremendous help from Cruse for quite some time and the difference it made to her was just wonderful.
I do hope phleb contacts them. Those close to us are not always the best listeners no matter how well intentioned......those who work with Cruse will know how to help and how to listen....x

[237SJ]

Cruse were hopeless when we needed them

[bunkmoreland]

I understand you want to sleep all the time to avoid waking to your grief:-( I do it myself. But you have to accept despite your "guilt" which we all experience and is not justified really,life MUST go on and this is not what your mother would have wanted for you. x