Spent all day planting up my veggie garden yesterday, when finished I sat down to ring my dad who was a very keen gardener he actually had 3 allotments.
Just as I was dialling his number I remembered that he is gone and I can never speak to him again, and I cried huge great sobs.
It’s nearly a year but I feel that I can still speak to him when I do certain things that he would want to hear about.
Now I cannot shift this great feeling of loss and feel so down and bereft and lost.
Martin, I am so sorry that your grief has jumped back and hit you so hard and so deeply. As others confirm, this is part of the grief process. I don't believe you ever 'get over' losing someone you love, I think instead that you weave that loss into the fabric of your being, but that does take time, and it's not a one way street either with stops along the way to mark...
Can't add to what others have said. I know, some days you're fine, then others, it hits you like a ton of bricks. The grieving process works like that, its a protective mechanism. It comes out in stages.
Your Dad will always be close to you.x
Just seen your post, it's still very early but one day in the future these thoughts will make you smile. For now when it happens sit quietly and accept the feelings, feel the love that causes the pain and tell yourself this is as it should be right now.