Elderly

[hannah40]

My mum is 90 she is displaying symptoms of forgetfulness ,not wanting to eat. ,feeling giddy and very tired ,confusion and head achey, when I visited this morning her fridge was empty and she didn’t realise she had no food bread or milk.
So I shopped for her.
She goes to a local church and I rang them to see if any one could give her a ring and they said she needs a Dr as ithose symptons are signs of Covid in the elderly.

My mum will not see a dr she is very stubborn and says she is staying in her flat until she dies.
She hasn’t seen a Dr in over 20 years.
Can any one advise please.

[Mamyalynne]

I am no expert in illness in the elderly and my avatar is purely fancy dress but those don't sound too much like Covid symptoms.

If she hasn't been eating much then likely she hasn't been drinking either and dehydration could explain some of those symptoms.

I would contact her GP for advice.

[New Judge]

//...they said she needs a Dr as ithose symptons are signs of Covid in the elderly.//

They are also signs of many other things in somebody of that age, most of which are very much more prevalent than Covid. I simply don't understand the reaction where Covid is the first thing that is suspected when it is far more likely that there is another cause.

Yes she needs to consult a doctor who may hopefully be a little more open-minded with a diagnosis.

[gness]

Hannah. My mother was the same as yours many years ago. She also refused to see a doctor so I made an appointment for myself, explained everything and he agreed to pop in unannounced telling her that they were now visiting the elderly every so often just to have a chat and see how they are. Things progressed slowly from there but it made a good start without disagreements and her shouting at me when I mentioned a visit to the doctor.

[TrevorThePug]

Perhaps you could contact her GP and ask their advice, they may arrange a home visit?

[Cloverjo]

It would be nice if someone from the church could pop round and see her every so often, rather than just say she needs a doctor.

[woofgang]

cloverjo there are idiots in churches, the same as everywhere else. When my Mum got older and frail we did what gness did and it really helped.

[Sqad]

//////^^My mum will not see a dr she is very stubborn and says she is staying in her flat until she dies./////

That says it all.
She needs to see Dr but it is of no use for posters to advice her to see a Dr,because she will not.
She i 90 years old, determined and I would leave it at that unless or until a medical emergency forces her into hospital.

Her symptoms could be due to anything.

[pixie374]

They could, although it would be easy to rule out (or in) a UTI first. She wouldn't have to go to the doctors herself, if she's willing, you could drop in a sample and pick up antibiotics if necessary. Might she agree to that?

[gness]

It would, Clover...unless they are like the church my mum worshiped in daily for sixty years. I first contacted them to see if she was still attending morning mass and tell them why I was becoming worried about her. Data protection was the reason they gave for not telling me. They still didn't bother to visit.

[TrevorThePug]

Yes water infections do make the elderly go a bit whappy.

[New Judge]

//...so I made an appointment for myself, explained everything and he agreed to pop in unannounced//

//Perhaps you could contact her GP and ask their advice, they may arrange a home visit?//

Where (as in "in which world") do you live? My GP (and most I know of) quietly and very quickly relieved themselves of the tiresome responsibility of visiting patients at their homes when that nice Mr Blair doubled their pay and halved their responsibilities in 2006. Home visits are now reserved only for those where the central NHS diagnostic service deems it necessary (and a locum from an agency is available).

[Sqad]

//////Mr Blair doubled their pay and halved their responsibilities in 2006/////

NJ.....I stand corrected but I think that it was Gordon Brown.

Home visits are /were a waste of time and achieved very little in the majority of cases and went bavk to the time that if you hadn't seen a doctor within 12 months of your death, then a post mortem was mandatory.

[hannah40]

Thank you for the answers . I’m going to email the Drs just to express my concerns as if she was to die in her flat an inquest would happen and it would look really bad on me her daughter if I hadn’t seemed To help.

[Mamyalynne]

Good luck Hannah, in the interim see if you can get her to up he fluid intake and indulge in some favourite small meals or snacks.

[New Judge]

//Data protection was the reason they gave for not telling me.//

Strange how a simple enquiry aimed at protecting somebody's welfare elicits an incredible response that hides behind a law designed to protect people's personal data:

"I'm a bit worried about the health of my Mum (who has been attending your church for 60 years). Is she still attending morning mass?"

"Sorry dear. Can't tell you. 'Data Protection'. I'm sure you understand"

No I don't actually. Absolutely ludicrous.

[gness]

The same world as you, NJ. Maybe the doctor with whom Mum was registered was different to yours but he visited and was helpful with visits and advice until she went into a home.
Here in Ireland we get a same day GP appointment and a home visit if required......and Tart Tatin from his wife on your big birthday.... :-)

[gness]

Of course it was ludicrous, NJ. I reported him to his Bishop.

[TrevorThePug]

My partner does home visits. Two today in fact. We are of this realm.

[hannah40]

Thank you for answering. My mum has been diagnosed with vascular dementia.

[Mamyalynne]

Hard for the both of you Hannah, best wishes.