Ear piercing

[4getmenot]

Ok after posting on another thread. Who agrees that a child or baby should have their ears pierced. Has anyone got young children with piercings?

[redcrx]

this post appears to have diverted to 'should young children have their ears peirced' to 'who is bringing their children to make decisions at the age of 4?'

TBH the issue of the earings is long gone now, but i have to add my opinion on giving a 4 year old choices. Yes nox its great that you are trying to prepare your children for the harsh world we live in but at what point do you consider your children to not need parental guidance? If you children can just say they want to do this or that and you let them, at what point would they stop to take any notice of what you and your wife say?

This does not mean that i am critisising your choice of parenting (i am certainly against the idea of 4 year olds with earrings)

Just out of interest, does the fact that your older kids had their ears peirced at a later age not make you think that perhaps your youngest children are perhaps growing up that little bit too fast?

[noxlumos]

Laurence. I've been married twice, both times for a very long time and I'm very happy with my wife and love my family beyond words so why is that unstable?She is kindness itself ,well respected,has a degree,is sucessful in her career and she too wants our children brought up with respect and to accomplish their full potential.If you choose to bring your kids up differently that's your perogative.I mentor a drugs project and employ ex -offenders, rent houses to vulnerable groups so I DO put my money where my mouth is and practice what I preach.My kids have so far all gone to University that are old enough, none of them smoke, take drugs, only drink in moderation and have never been in trouble with the Police.I don't claim benefits, I work hard to support my family and give them good values, a sensible work ethic, decent caring morals and I love them.
My own life started out a mess and I made mistakes, but I learned from them and that's why I am the man I am today with the beliefs I hold. I'm sure you'd rather people like me were strung up for having taken drugs because they were abused as little kids, rather than see them emerge out of the other side of their misery and become successful but sorry mate, more and more of us are realising that a bad start doesn't necessarily mean a bad end.I got my hatred and violence under control, that's something you might like to think about Laurence as all you ever seem to post are posts stating how hard you think you are.You come off as a has been old bovver boy trying to impress people with your aggression and to be honest it's laughable.People may not agree with me, but again that's their choice, you just resent anyone having a choice and disagreeing with you, wheras I don't care whether someone disagrees with me or not.You on the other hand just insult and threaten so why don't you go and crawl back to wherever you came from or is it easier for you to be a hard man on the net rather than face to face? I think it

[laurence2]

oh pretty please nox, don't be agressive to me, i'm the nervous type who worrys very easy, i mean you no harm, please don't be nasty & threaten me, its not nice.

[noxlumos]

Hi redcrx, It's quite hard to explain how things work in our house without you actually seeing it, but basically it's like this. There are no rules apart from the need for common sense. This sounds bedlamatic until you realise that it actually works. We have never had a 7 year old demanding to go on holiday on it's own, or a 5 year old trying to drive the car, because if you think about it all truly important things are coverd by this law of common sense.Our kids range in age from 20's down to 5 months old and we've honestly never had to yell or even lay the law down about what they may or may not do because they've decided themselves that it's not common sense to do so.We did have issue with School with Danny who is deaf but that was sorted out once the problem with the school was dealt with many years ago and we now home educate.
You would imagine that it would result in kids going "Yay, great we can do ANYTHING!", but it just doesn't, they appreciate that there are no rules and that discipline is their own self discipline and they behave accordingly, knowing that that priviledge can only exist as long as they excercise that self discipline.As I said in a previous post quite complex thinking for a four year old.
I'm unsure how it would work with kids who have not ALWAYS been brought up like this, I'd imagine it would cause trouble beyond your wildest dreams to be honest, but if you use this method from scratch it really produces lovely calm kids, who are sensible, hardworking and caring.My wife and I never have to say "No you can't" because the kids don't do it in the first place.
I don't think the younger ones are growing up too fast and I don't actually think that's possible either, kids evolve at their own rates and I'm happy to let them do so.
Bit of a garbled answer, but it is very hard to explain exactly how it works, because it just does.

[-Zorro-]

well if you 2 are gonna duel, at least do it with a sword.

Here, borrow mine

[redcrx]

Im not saying it doesnt work. Its not the 'conventional' parenting style and im sure you have brought up respectful inteligent kids, just as most parents manage to do.
What makes you think that as your older children start to do things like having partners stay over, drinking, driving etc that the younger ones wont ask to be able to have the freedom to do the same things? Youve already said that the age of the children have their ears pierced got younger and younger, why cant it with other things?
I still dont feel that a 4 year old can make decisions without parental involvment but that is my own choice and upbringing. I just hope that your children do grow up into men and women to be proud of.

[The Sherman]

wow this is a good ol debate! personally if the child chooses then i suppose its up to them, but i would never let my child get a piercing because it just looks vile. its like when you see a girl with a big tattoo on her arm it makes me want to vomit, i'll never understand why people would do that to themselves or why they think its attractive! so no for decent tastes sake dont let your child get it done

[metagirl]

I think its a very cultural thing as well. Most of the girls I grew up with had parents from latin american countries - mexico, el salvador - so they had their ears pierced at a young age. Mine were pierced at around 4 yrs. Its not a big deal.