Help please

[Mamhus]

I am a married man and I do not love my wife I am with her for reasons beyond my control and i have recently met another lady through a mutual friend and I know that this woman is the woman I want to spend my life with i do not want to have an affair as that goes against everything I beleive in and I cannot end my marriage I am in a real trouble spot can anyone please advise me?

[fayelc123]

So you think it's better to stay in an unhappy loveless marriage? than to leave & be happy yourself. And to give your wife a chance to find happiness with someone else & maybe have the chance to have children with someone that wants them.
Is this a wind up?

[Champagne]

Unless your wife decides to divorce you, it seems there is no solution.

[ELVIS68]

Put your wife on Ebay...start at 99p...that way you`ll deffo get some interest
Oh ..and add some pics too

[B00]

there is my patio suggestion which everyone seems to have overlooked..............

[steviep165]

she doesnt build stuff out of computers and food does she?

[ELVIS68]

Boo..what is it about you and patios?

[B00]

Dunno, nowt.........I didn't do it, wasn't me! I've alway had this lovely decking on my patio!

ahem...........

[redcrx]

hmmm Boo how many times have you been married? Is it split level decking or just one large one with extensions?

[redcrx]

steviep, what are you suggesting? lol

[steviep165]

B00, is the rumour that you paid for your neighbours block paving true?

[ELVIS68]

Boo`s the new Mandy Jordache...don`t go round hers for a BBQ...theres a strange pong wafting up through the decking . lol....Must dash..I`m off to work, see ya

[steviep165]

B00, you told me that was chicken we were eating at ur BBQ!!! lol

[whiffey]

BBQ'd blue-cheeked bee-eater.

[steviep165]

would that still need a honey glaze whiffey?

[sue11]

Is everyone suspecting a possible russian post here?

[gleaveyweave]

Unless you can give us a solid reason why you "can't" leave your wife, I have to agree with the others. You have no children so it is much easier to do it now. What if your wife falls pregnant? You will be in an even worse situation because, believe me, the prospect of ending a marriage is MUCH more complicated when you have children. As one of the others said, it seems you will have to put up or shut up. I feel sorry for your wife though, being stuck with a man who doesn't love her. And as for the affair, please don't even consider it, your wife will be crushed forever. Good luck whatever you decide x

[gleaveyweave]

sue11, you could be right there! Sounds like it's kind of question doesn't it??

[sue11]

Hi Gleanyweave, it is possible! I may be wrong but there is a familar ring to the way Mamhus is answering the questions.

[WendyS]

You say you "think" you wife is happy with the current arrangement. Don't the two of you communicate at all? You're not telling us why you can't end your marriage, possibly for religious reasons, but as you don't have children presumably nobody put a pistol to your head and forced you to go up the altar when she was pregnant? . Did you ever love her, or has love died simply because the two of you have nothing in common? If you have nothing in common, presumably you married in haste before you gave yourself time to find this out, in which case how can you be sure that your judgement has now improved with this current lady?
I think it's time for you and your wife to sit down and have a very long and honest talk. I think you need to tell her how you feel about her and this other woman and see what her reaction is. If she's starting to talk about wanting children if would absolutely foolhardy of you to contemplate having them in a loveless marriage, so your wife needs to know this too as you'll be condemning her to a miserable existence too if you deprive her.

So it seems to me you have the following options if you want to satisfy your conscience and honour:.

Do nothing, not have an affair and be totally miserable for the rest of your life..
Be honest with your wife, have a discussion and see where this leaves you.
Opt for an honourable separation, continue to see this woman as a friend only and hope your wife will eventually file for divorce if she meets somebody who can give her what she wants.

Time to bite the bullet I'd say !