Would you do it with a friend? (part 2)

[Postdog]

Well, to cut a long story short, we talked about maybe "doing it" and we are both very tempted. We both have other issues which we need to escape from, and we wondered whether a "fling" might help. For my part, it wouldn't just be sex, as there would be emotion too, and that, I think is one of my issues. I am not attached or involved, and I do miss intimacy with someone I can care about. She has texted me while away, and aside from the usual friendly stuff, has suggested I tidy my bedroom a bit, just in case she wants to pop down one afternoon when she comes back. The obvious fear for us both is will it change things between us if we do? - she doesn't want to leave hubby, and I don't want to be involved with her in that way BUT that aside, we are really good mates. We THINK we can handle it but what would you do? Had to do this in two parts as for some reason it wouldn't accept it in one. Please answer on THIS thread.

[mccfluff]

well it will change things between you thats for sure, it wether you both can handle that change, apart from the fact she will be cheating on hubby and that will raise issues for her

[mccfluff]

sorry i also meant to say, if you take things that step further will you be bale to handle her going back to hubby?

[mccfluff]

*able*

[madham]

Don't do it unless you can see it though to a relationship, it is not worth a ruined friendship and a possible marriage break-up. If you think you want to be with her for ife and are just denying your feelings then you need to tell her but don't do anything rash. Good luck anyway!

[missyR]

i haven't read your other thread, so if you don't like this answer, please direct me to it.
But i REALLY wouldn't recommend an affair as it tears people apart. i also don't know of your 'issues' or the fact this friend may have any children. But if things are complicated then it isn't worth the bother. You say this is emotional, well is she prepared for it? Why can't you find another person who isn't married. But there is nothing wrong with two consenting adults having casual sex. But it's a different story when relationships and possible children are involved. Have you ever thought of the repurcussions of your actions?

[havinmysay]

soz 4 tellin u this but it aint gonna work dont lose a good mate 4 1 night of passion
think about it ................x

[mccfluff]

and from experience i have lost a very good friend from a sit very similar

[whyme]

i wouldnt go there if i was you, how could you look her old man in the face. Some one will always get hurt, plus shes your mate and if it came out you could lose her.

[rugeleyboy]

to be honest postdog i think you have already made your mind up but you are putting your toe in the water on here to find out what other's may think and you cant ask any one in real life??

let me ask you this.........if you dont have sex/make love with this person will it go down as one of life's regrets??

i personally would have sex with her, obviously not now i am married but if she wants to keep it secret (as you do) i honestly think she will go back to the hubby (mr stable) and continue in her life as a married woman??

[teag1rl]

Step away from the married woman postdog. It's not cos I'm on me moral high horse-it bolted long ago. Just thinking you are alone, you're not attched, it is you who will end up hurting in the long run. If it was someone you hadn't had a close friendship for ten yrs with and the girl was unhappy in her marriage maybe my advice would be different, but could you cope with losing this friendship??

[whyme]

Postdog, is she an honest person? If she is keep your distance, the guilt will prob. kill her. Do you reaaly want to risk losing a bessie mate for the sake of a shag.(xcuse the crudeness!!)

[whyme]

"really"

[Pippa68]

I would wait for her to end her marriage first..then take things slow after that!

If you go for it now you will be 'eating a dodgy biscuit' as a mate of mine likes to say...

[China Doll]

Sorry Postdog, I answered on the other thread before I saw this one. What type of emotion involved? If you're talking about something that would mean more than just sex it might be better if she left the hubby and had a bit of breathing space before embarking on anything more serious.

If it's just sex, it does sound like it's well on the way to happening. Erm, it will change things in your friendship, no doubt about it, sex always does. But if you think you can handle it then I guess it's up to you two. You're both consenting adults.

Personally, if emotion may be involved, I wouldn't go near it with a barge pole as situation could get seriously confusing. But that's just me.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you whatever you decide to do xx