Hi I'm New Here

[bobtheturkey]

Difficulty sleeping tonight as Beatrice from number 42 is applying haemorrhoid cream in her garden while she waits on Archibald her pet pot bellied pig to do his business, the noise is quite substantial

I hope you are all well

Newbie Bob

[Stickybottle]

Hope the poor dear is not administering it to the pig ?

[tonyav]

Hiya bob, so glad that you survived Christmas. I suggest that you should place an Orange bucket over your head and sit in the shed until the racket subsides.

[Ken4155]

Hi Bob, that wouldn't be the same Beatrice who once had daddy take her to a Pizza Express some years back, would it?

[Sam1960]

I suggest hiding under three of your orange buckets bob !! , a bit like triple glazing ! That should tone things down a bit ; ))

[Ken4155]

I think you should send a certain Andrew 3 of your orange buckets so he can hide, too.

[Mamyalynne]

Hi Bob, write the vet's phone number on a piece of paper and make a plane and float it over the fence.

[Buenchico]

Beatrice has asked me to forward a message to you, Bob, inviting you to join her and her friend for a bit of socialising at number 42:
https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/webimg/b25lY21zOjE3NTRkNDgwLTg1ZjItNDZhZi04NTViLTE2NzczY2NhYjBmZjphOTE2MGViZi1mYmEzLTQ3YmItOTMwNC04YTE0ZGVjNmViYTY=.jpg?width=2048&enable=upscale

[albaqwerty]

Glad to see Beatrice has finally shaved.

[Lie-in King]

I'm wondering why she calls it her "garden"...

[albaqwerty]

Kingy, every lady has a garden, some are bare, some are over-grown, some have weeds in them and others are well-maintained.

Haemorrhoid cream is also good at reducing laughter lines (I'm told)

[Sam1960]

lol ; ))

[Lie-in King]

Thank you, Alba! I was more concerned that Beatrice should've been in the back yard... ;-)

[Mamyalynne]

If anyone would like an anatomy lesson, I have some pamphlets.

[tonyav]

snigger

[Mamyalynne]

You'll get extra homework

[tonyav]

Doh