Parrot
A man was worried that his wile was having an affair.
He asked his parrot to watch what happened during the day and to report back to him at night time.
The parrot had lost both of his legs in a freak accident, but managed to stay upright on the perch by wrapping his willy around it.
The man arrived home that night and asked the parrot to report his findings.
" Well " said Polly, " The gas man arrived, and your wife invited him in. They had a long lingering kiss."
" Yes, and then what?" asked the man
" Well, your wife started to take of her clothes "
" And " said the man
" The gas man took of all his clothes"
"Yes, Yes, tell me what happened then" quivered the husband.
" They started to 'tinker' with each others private parts"
" WHAT HAPPENED NEXT" screamed the man
" Don't know" flapped the bird, " I got a stiffy and fell off the perch "