teenage daughter

[clean]

my 16yr old daughter has moved out while i was out of the house visiting. she is safe with family they moved her! we were having alot of arguments but i always told her i loved her i just thought it was normal teenage behaviour.this has been a big blow as a single parent.how should i handle things as i am not doing to well at the mo

[andy-hughes]

Teenage years are the most difficult for mothers and daughters, the things that push both your buttons now will make you close when this period of her liffe has moved on.

Accept that maybe some distance between you will improve things - being on top of each other at home makes rows frequent and inevitable, if your daughter is saffe and secure with another family, give her some time to calm down and talk things over with them before you start bridge building.

Don't see this as a failure on your part - parenthood is massively difficult, especially in these modern times when there are every more pressures on you, and your daughter.

Keep the lines of communication open - reassure her that you love her and you are there for her, and you will get through this. I know, been there, done that!

[raysparx]

don't pressure her,don't nag or criticise her friends,we all need space just remember whatever age your children are we are all learning all the time,but please just talk and let her have her say without interupting a good way to do this is to have an egg timer and while the person with the timer is talking the other has to just listen,not easy but worth trying Good luck, I am thinking of you

[xxlizziexx]

im 15 nearly 16 years old so i hope i can help.

my mum and me had alot of arugments, we went through a fase of just arguing all the time, i wanted to run away so many times and even though we dont show it we still do love our mums. we dont say i love you etc beacuse its just our age and we feel silly doing so i guess, but even though we dont show it we still do love your mums.
when i had a fite with my mum i said so many hurtful things and i felt SO awful and bad after woulds it would make me more angry and more upset and so i'd argue even more with my mum beacuse of it. maybe this mite help, it gives her some space so think and relax which im sure you gave her at home but it does feel like you dont get space when your in your own home beacuse of arguments etc.
she problery just wants a space where no arugemnts happen and can relax and think about whats going on, you say its been a big blow for you and im sure its been a big blow for your daughter, why dont you write a letter to her? thats what my mum did to me beacuse every time we talked it would just end in argument. you never know it might surprize you.

hope this helps, let us know how it goes x

[markja]

being a dad i have a slightly diferent view on it. firstly, don't try to force her to come home,it will make things worse. second, don't feel you've failed; some kids & parents just don't get on as well as others. (my mum drives me nuts if i'm with her for more than a few days! i'm 44 by the way and love her dearly! ) thirdly, let her know you love her and she is welcome home at any time. forthly, try to get a line of communication open; either chat on the phone every so often or meet for a coffee and biscuits in a cafe.

i have mates who's girl left home after rows, now she and her mum get on great. there was a time when communication was stilted but as time progressed it eased.

at 16 she is or feels grown up, " i'm not a kid!" she will have her own personality and want to show she has matured/grown up. as a parent i found it hard to see my little girl grow up and go off to uni. she's 21 now and we get on great, don't know how it would be if she lived at home tho' !

like every one else said, don't be too down on yourself.modern society is a lot more difficult than we realise and life doesn't follow the exact same route for everybody. give her time she'll come to be your closest pal again. my wife & daughter are.

good luck.

[malde]

I am now 19 but i had similar probs with my mum when i was 13-16. we are very similar and at the time i thought that she was trying to stop me doin things that i wanted to do. now i can see that i was a nightmare (and i really was, i've never heard of anyone as bad as me). im not proud of it and now deeply regret what i put my mum through but now, i have apologised and we are the best of friends. we dont live together and i think if we did, we would be at each others throats once again, but i think in a way, it brought us closer. i hope your daughter comes to her senses soon, but it might be best to agree to disagree when it comes to certain subjects! good luck

[deeboy]

My daughter is 17 she is a mature 17..however she is going to Magaluf on holiday..I told her not to book it but she did and I'm not happy about it. As any worried dad I have to trust her and hope she makes the right decisions in life even though I feel like giving her a kick up the @rse..you have to let them get on with it it's all you can do..nightmare.

[tuibird]

I hope things are going better for you now.
My mother did not want me to breathe without permission ( I am sure you are not like this).
I left home at 17 on my own with a carrier bag of my clothes. I phoned to say I wasn't coming back , my mother was livid, threatened me with the police etc. When I did not come back she chose to ignore me. She and my older sister used to walk past me in the street. I am 37 now and have my own family but I have never really forgiven her for that.
I know it is a hard time but remember she won't be a teenager for ever. Think to the future relationship you want with her.