Thoughts On This Song I Wrote?

[river454]

A lot of people said they couldn't hear what I was saying in a different song I posted yest. Wondering how people find this tune. Any thoughts welcome.

[river454]

barsel. i apologize for saying those words, you are right I dont know you. Corbyloon and Roy for eg have been persistently nasty to me on here since my post yest, they seem to come from the angle a bully does where if they think someone sucks at something that they should speak down to them. I apologize for lumping you in with them. My girlfriend is dead and I killed her by not seeing her that night when she asked me to and every day is a struggle... I was hoping music may be a way to get me through but clearly it is not. I am sorry yet again and thank you for at least making reference to her unlike some others on here who seem to not care less. I'll probably merely delete my account here anyway as I have now heard enough to know I cannot sing gd enough. I genuinely thought my guitar and writing was at least ok tho but ah well

[Barsel]

Thank you for your apology river which I accept.
Please don't give up on your music as I'm sure it will help you to get over your loss.
All the best.

[river454]

I appreciate you accepted it barsel. But it will only help me through it if I am good enough which i now believe i am not. I feel I will just stick to the electric guitar now instead though.

[piggynose]

https://youtu.be/awjmFyHiecM

https://youtu.be/Ly7F8G4S444
These might help

[Canary42]

///You are coming out with various nonsense such as "can't hear the lyrics" umm this is the case with many songs, really isnt a deal breaker///

I'm sorry that my comment upset you, I was trying to help. The point being that it was the recording level which seemed to my ears to be at fault, not your diction or singing.

Don't let a few negative comments on here put you off - keep going.

Good luck.

[calmck]

You didn't kill your girl friend, she killed herself. She might have done this if you had seen her. Your grief is still very raw. Continue to write songs to or about her. Keep them in a journal or folder. Contact a bereavement councelling service or speak to some one you trust.
You asked for comments on the lyrics but some people couldn't hear them. You were given constructive criticism on the music and lyrics. Maybe you are not ready to hear what people are replying to you because you are feeling guilt, anger and sorrow at her death. This is all to be expected.
People here don't know anything about you but you asked what they thought and they told you. You are not being bullied as such. If you are unable to accept negative feed back from strangers don't ask for it.
People here are of all ages, backgrounds and with multiple life experiences between them and mostly they try to help others. I am sure they are all saddened by your loss even though they don't know you.
Please seek appropriate help for your own mental health and well being.