//How Keane was never charged with assault is a mystery.//
It's no mystery. Football exists on a different planet where normal rules do not apply. The same strange rules see three clubs in the Premiership paying more than 95% of their revenue out in wages. It also sees the subject of this question being paid close on a million pounds a week for his services. This equates to almost 10% of his employer's total annual revenue from all sources. Show me a large company which pays 10% of its revenue to one employee and I'll agree that "Planet Football" might not exist.
The big mystery in reality is how a fairly mundane and repetitive game, which sees an unusually high number of cheats among its participants, can generate so much revenue in the first place.