You girls!

[Bonzo 34]

Can someone cheer me up a bit. I have been chasing this girl at work, who has been stringing me along, and is now seeing someone else.

Just feel I could be single for EVER. I'm a nice guy, I'm not desperate, so why is it a struggle? I go out, I socialise, not bad looking- help!

[4getmenot]

Its a struggle because you are trying to find someone. Sit back, relax and they will find you :-) You always find love when you least expect it :-)

[PinkFizz]

Couldn't agree more with 4getmenot - I had given up ever meeting the right guy,then went for a boring job interview one day,and ended up meeting the most amazing guy and 2 years later we are still together.

[indie_chic]

I have the Im gonna single forever days all the time. Even when I was in my last relationship.

Go speed dating and let us know what it was like!!

[4getmenot]

If you are one of those �I�m gonna be single forever people� like indie chick said then that�s where you are going wrong. A person who is ready to settle down isn�t a person that thinks they need someone to make them whole. When you are happy with yourself as a whole that�s when you are ready, and they are just an added bonus :-)

[Englishbird]

Welcome to my life.

[Peghead]

This girl doesn't sound like she's worth you feeling down about - if she knowingly led you on then she can't be a very nice person and you're better off without.

4getmenot and PinkFizz are right (you guys are always so full of good advice!), you have to happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.

My cousin is having the same problem. He's only 25 but he feels like he'll never meet anyone. He's decided to go on an adventure holiday for 3 weeks in South America with Explore Worldwide to give himself a challenge and take his mind off things. I think it'll do him the world of good to focus on himself for once, maybe you should do something similar then you'll have something to look forward to and won't feel so down? Plus loads of single people go on those sorts of holidays so you might find love along the way!

[4getmenot]

Oh dear, any person can get a girlfriend/boyfriend. Nothing to mope around about

[lightoftruth]

ive been feeling like that for a while but as 4getmenot says just go with the flow. I just got tired of forever trying to get a girlfriend so i just decided that when i go to parties etc im going to have a damn good time and if gettting some attention from the girls happens then great!!!!!!

Just go out to have fun mate. It'll happen don't worry.

remember this quote from vanilla skies "without the bitter the sweet aint as sweet"

[Backdrifter]

My partner and I are celebrating our 10th next month. Before I met her, I went through a few years of wondering whether I'd ever meet anyone again, and if there was something wrong with me. Then I overcompensated the other way and became what I termed "militant single" - actually OPPOSED to having a relationship.

Based on my own experience, I echo what others have said above. Stop focusing so much on it. Society, the media, even our well-intentioned friends and families put pressure on us to be one half of a heterosexual "couple". Rise above it - enjoy your life, do the stuff you like doing, be confident in yourself - it can happen when you least expect it, which makes it nicer. And when it does, it STILL might not be the one - that happens and we all have to deal with it.

Re the female colleague, don't take this the wrong way but I'd just advise you to honestly examine your expectations and your interpretation of her actions - is there a chance she didn't lead you on, but that you were adapting her behaviour to fit in with your hopes of what might happen? As I say, please don't take offence at that as it's easily done - hell, I've done it myself. If however she simply was leading you on, then you're better off out of it. Forget it. Concentrate on living your life for yourself, not in the hope of some notional future relationship.

[auzzie]

Some women are just not attracted to nice guys. I went out with a nice guy for about 12 months. I didn't love him even after 12 months, he felt more like a brother. He did everything for me and my child, but it was not enough for me. He was just, for the want of a better word, boring. He didn't light any of my fires. AS i was a one parent family ( working, i might add) i was always being told that nobody else would want me with a child in tow and he was better than nothing. But actually, nothing was better. I always felt guilty when i was with him, and he would be very upset when ever i tried to finish it, which made it worse. Anyway finish it, i did and then i met and married someone else, one year later. Don't be in too much of a rush, love will come when you least expect it.

[Backdrifter]

auzzie I think that's a bit different from saying some women aren't attracted to 'nice guys'. If you find your partner boring, then you should break up with them because they're boring but you seem to be suggesting nice guy = boring! That may not be what you think but it's how your post came across. And it's not necessarily true, of course. By the way, it irritates me when I hear of people saying "he's better than nothing." You're spot-on - if you don't want to be with that person, then nothing IS better. My partner wanted to finish with her ex (pre-me) funnily enough because he bored her to tears, and her friends said, well he doesn't beat you up or mess around with other women so you should hang on to him! Then of course I came along and now, 10 years on, I'm still keeping her entertained and not bored at all (and vice versa).

There is this thing people often say, that women prefer the bad boys. It certainly seems that SOME women do. I've known women who, partner after partner, allow themselves to be flattened into a doormat and walked over. It's horrible to see.