Hell

[Rondy]

A man dies and goes to hell.

There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks, 'What do they do here?'

He told, 'First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.'

The man doesn't like the sound of that at all, So he moves on.
He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.

He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the British hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.

Amazed, he asks, 'What do they do here?' He told, 'First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the British devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.'

'But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?'

'Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair doesn't work, Someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Civil Servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then *** off to the canteen for the rest of the day!!!"

[Canary42]

You'll have Ab's Little Englanders branding you anti-British.

[Hopkirk]

Next day another man arrives. All the rooms looked horrendous except the British one. In there they were all standing waste deep in foul slurry, but drinking tea.

He says "I'll choose this one please". As soon as he has waded in, the devil claps his hands and says "OK tea break's over, back on your heads".