19 yr old paying keep

[suzi-q]

My 19 yr old son lives with his granddad tues - fri as he works for him. He comes home on a friday night, puts his washing on. Then he has a long shower, changes and goes out clubbing. All of which is fine. We hang out his washing for him. He is out most of the weekend generally and hes not a bad kid. But ... because he's paying for his own car and insurance which is a lot ... I only ask him for �10 per week keep. This was originally for the weekend from fri to sun but now hes staying monday night as well as hes at college on the monday. Then off he goes on Tues morning back to grandads. The problem is when hes not going to be around for the weekend, i.e. he comes home friday and then goes off for the weekend visiting his uni friends or whatever, he doesnt want to pay the �10. I said he should because its housekeeping not food money but he gets really stroppy and says why should he pay it when he doesnt eat or use anything over the weekend. He also told his step dad to butt out as it was none of his business. How can I get it across to him that he needs to pay this contribution towards the running costs of the house whether hes there or not. He just makes me feel like a money grabbing bitch to be honest.

By the way, he earns nearly �200 per week at 19 and we dont earn an awful lot more ourselves and although we are not on the breadline, we dont have a lot of money for ourselves and go without quite a lot to make sure we can afford the mortgage bills etc.

[suzi-q]

Hi in a pickle. He does pay his grandad �20 but they let him off when not there. Whereas Im trying to get across to him that he should pay the �10 when here or not.

[suzi-q]

It makes perfect sense, just very hard to do.

I suppose Ive always worked to the "anything for a quiet life" philosophy and hate big confrontations.

Can you imagine an agrieved 19 yr old outside the door trying to get in.

Ive tried talking to him and fully intended to stick to my guns, but let him persuade me to compromise on �5 per week whilst he is away for the next 2 weekends.

pathetic eh? He cant seem to get the idea that he's not paying for food, heating he uses etc but towards the upkeep of the house.

[Blyss]

a tenner isnt really that much is it , not when your washing all his clothes ..hes taking extra long showers and I presume your all waiting to see if hes gona come home friday /saturday nights or weither hes staying at a friends house.
Try and explain to him that weither you went on hoilday or hospitail for a few weeks you would still have to pay rent or morgage.
My son is 19 also so I can relate , I take �40 a week from him for rent and food , his take home pay comes in at around �130 per week.
Tell your son that ..lol

[Pippa68]

Have you pointed out to him that if he had his own place he would have to pay the bills (mortgage/rent etc) whether he was there or not?

He certainly should be able to afford to pay for keep out of his �200. As a guide, he should be paying a third of his income in keep, a third for spending and a third for saving. As he spends far more time at his grandads, the lions share of the housekeeping should be spent there ~ but I reckon you should be getting around �20/�30 at least.