Crosswords7 mins ago
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I was disappointed with the new film called Fishing, although it had a great cast!
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Woman sitting next to a man on a plane, every time he sneezes he wipes his cock, after the 3rd time the woman speaks to him.
Woman: Do you mind?
Man: Oh sorry, I have a condition every time I sneeze I ejaculate.
Woman: Oh, sorry, are you taking anything for it?
Man: Yes, pepper!
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I joined a dating website the other day and they asked what I was interested in.
So i wrote:'Page 3 girls, I think they're really sexy'.
I wondered why I hadn't had any responses until I realised the letter 'P' on my keyboard wasn't working!
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My Korean girlfriend once cooked me a pie made from scratch…
I was gutted. I loved that dog!
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My wife assured me that size didn't matter, but all of her dildos look like they're missing a lamp shade!
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l've just found out l'm in the Guinness World Records for the most clothes on a washing line…
lt was a lot to take in!
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Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!"
I've sent her my ironing.
That'll keep her busy!
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Teacher: "You boy, what's your name?"
Boy: "Mickey Jones."
Teacher: "We'll call you Jones here." "We don't use first names."
Boy: "My dad won't like that - he takes offence if people take the Mickey out of my name."
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