A Few More

[Rondy]

I borrowed a blind friend of mine £20 the other day, He promised me he would pay me back the next time he saw me.
Uh Oh, I should have known better.

___

My wife left me for another man. All that lies ahead now is a miserable, pointless, lonely life. And while he's going through that, I'll be down the pub with my mates every night.

___

I threw a ball for my dog...
It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a Tuxedo.

___

I went to my local coffee shop and asked for a cappuccino. The lady asked 'Is that to sit in?'
I said 'No, l'm going to drink it'

___

An old lady of 80 was sat happily knitting when a wee mouse shot up her skirt and disappeared !!!!!???.
She screamed and her hubby came running, she told him to call the doctor and ask him what they should do.
The doctor thought for a moment then told the husband to wave a piece of cheese in front of the entrance !!!! to see if he could entice the mouse out. After a while doctor thought he had better pay them a visit and see if he could assist.
When he arrived he found the poor husband waving a kipper in front of the entrance. "I thought I told you wave a piece of cheese at the entrance not a kipper" said the doctor.
To which the hubby replied, " I know you told me to wave a bit of cheese but I've got to get the bloody cat out first.

___

[gramps85]

Should that not be 'I lent a blind friend £20 the other day'. If you are going to copy and paste jokes from other sites please check them first.