A Few More

[Rondy]

How long was I at the laryngitis clinic?
About three hours, roughly speaking.

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Got a call from my GP today saying I've tested positive for Monkeypox and could I swing by the surgery.

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Chatting with my girlfriend's mother, l told her that we had been for a walk in the park and that they had lovely trees there.
"Juniper?" She asked?
"No! Never touched her" I replied.

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When I introduced my wife to my Mum so many years ago I will never forget Mum saying "you can do much better".
I said "Mum that's not nice to say about her." Then mum said: "I was talking to her not you."

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Paddy doing the crossword, says to mick, "Five letters, to egg on." Mick says: "Toast."

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I've got a few G.C.S.E maths books for sale.
£2 each or 3 for £10

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The manager of John O'Groats F.C has quit after a defeat from Lands End F.C
He said he's taken the team as far as they can go.

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Me texting the wife. "How do I set the washing machine?
Wife: "What are you washing?"
Me: "A t-shirt."
Wife: "What does it say on the t-shirt?"
Me: "Liverpool FC"

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I used to live in a giant tyre but it got a puncture
Now l live in a flat.

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Paddy's in the bathroom. Murphy shouts to him: "Did you find the shampoo?"
Paddy replies: "Yes I did, but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."

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[ponkle]

Good ones there.

[Patsy33]

😆