Relationship With Sister

[papas32]

Hi lovelies! I came on here to ask a question and ended up answering other people's before I asked, how rude, lol! 😅

So, my question is: if you had a brother or sister who had let you down badly and constantly, how would you react if they contacted you to meet up for dinner somewhere? They don’t live nearby and are in my area staying with ‘friends’. I guess I’m not classed as a friend. 😒

I’m not sure whether to rise above all the letdowns , one being a last-minute cancellation of coming to my 21st birthday a few years ago with no excuse, just a “sorry I can’t make it,” and also hitting on my boyfriend more than once (and more than one boyfriend!). Other friends say if I don’t want to see her, just don’t go. So what, that she’s my sister? If she’d done that as a friend, she would no longer be a friend. PS: I’ve not seen nor heard from her for at least 3 years. Thanks for your advice! 💖

What would you do in my shoes?

[bednobs]

I used to work on the bone marrow transplant unit and have seen all sorts (which is why I'm not joking) you can hardly relate not attending a  party to suddenly refusing to save your life If called upon to do so. I've seen people paying their relative to donate, a family outing enormous pressure on an eight year old to donate, someone who refused their brothers bone marrow because they didn't want to become manly, all sorts. 

[Auntypoll]

^^^ What has all that got to do with the OP?🙄

[Smowball]

Youve got nothing to lose by going. I had a major falling out with my sister and dad 8 years ago (long story) and they didn't speak to me for years (was all my fault). Tbh I could have just given up but I couldn't , and persisted with letters, messages etc. We now all speak by msg/ phone/ cards and I'm hoping to meet up with my sister in the nxt month or so. You just don't know what's up so go and see.

[JJ109]

My view is that she has taken the first steps, probably to try and rekindle a realationship with you. Just go to the dinner but with no set plans, see what she has to say.

If after seeing her you still want to have nothing to do with her, then fine, but give her the benefit of the doubt and see what she has to say first.

[papas32]

Thanks for the replies, guys! 🌸 I guess I just don’t want to know or care what she has to say. I know she’s got a new BF – uglier but richer than the last one so she’s probably wanting to show off. I can’t deal with the negative vibes she creates. Yes, this sounds ***, I know, but we are so far apart on our core values that I sometimes wonder if I was adopted! Ha ha! She’s just like my mother was, so shes  definitely not adopted. 😂

Well, I’ve messaged her saying I can’t do dinner (no explanation) but will get in touch if I’m coming down her way. Got a thumbs-up reply, so we’re all good as far as I’m concerned. Thanks for all the advice! Peace out! ✌️

[Auntypoll]

Ah.....so she has a more affluent lifestyle than you, some of your previous boyfriends have fancied her, you are jealous...best keep out of each others way I think as nothing will change .😒

[Peter Pedant]

how would you react if they contacted you to meet up for dinner somewhere?

.Well, I’ve messaged her saying I can’t do dinner (no explanation)

Nice thing about AB - asking for 'advice' when you have already done it. ( we never get a complaint/follow up: I took the advice and it was a disaster)

[Paul22118]

DO NOTHING..........

[pastafreak]

Auntypoll @ 9:29...because OP referred to bednobs initial remark as a joke. Bednobs has explained why it wasn't. 

[Barsel]

Sorry, I'm late in seeing this and papas32 might not look in again.

Just wanted to say 2 of my 3 daughters don't bother with each other much and are definitely not friends, but I'm pretty sure they would help each other out in an emergency, even one as serious as donating bone marrow.

Although they don't live far apart, they only see each other on family occasions and never phone each other.

I think it might be best if you just go with the flow and don't do anything you would feel uncomfortable with.