Piercings?

[cameo]

My 14 year old daughter wants to get a piercing.
At the moment she has 2 in each ear. She now wants to get one either at the top of her ear or in her nose.
I don't want her to do this. I'm not really against piercings but she only wants them done because everyone else has them.
As she is not being too good at school at the moment she said that if she was good could she have it done at xmas. Now i like the sound of her being good but she is a very bright girl and knows that she needs to be good or else her grades are going to suffer, and in her own words she doesn't want that to happen.
I also have the added problem that if i did say yes her father would go balistic. which means him and i would argue, and at the moment we don't need to find another reason.
She is a sensible girl, she phoned me from town yesterday, when all her friends were getting theirs done, to ask my permission and when i said no she didn't get it done, even though she could have.
I know having one more piercing isn't such a big deal in the big scheme of things but i really don't want her to do it.
Any advice anyone can give me will be much appreciated.

[ummmm]

I'd let her get one in the top of her ear but not in her nose.

[twaflooers]

Hi there cameo.
When my now 17yr old was around 15 she began asking to have her bottom lip pierced. Having piercings myself I didn't want to just give her a blanket NO so I asked her to go and think long and hard about why she wanted it done, was it because of a trend or did she genuinely want it for herself?
After a while she came back to me saying that it definately wasn't because others had had it done but because she really, really wanted it.

What my hubby and I then did with her was negotiate a "cooling off" period on the basis that if, after having to wait a few months and at least until she was 16, she still wanted it done then she would continue to do so, and if it were merely a 'phase' thing then the novelty would have, by then, worn off.

She also had to agree to either myself or my hubby taking her to have it done by a reputable body piercer and not just by some random shop assistant with a piercing gun.

All of our stipulations were met and after having her lip done she has gone on to have quite a few more. I wont list them all in case I scare you lol but she hasn't regretted having any of them done and still wants more.

Your daughter should be commended for asking your permission and then not going against your wishes. I'm sure we all know kids who would have had it done anyway then dealt with the fallout afterwards. I also think you might want to consider her offer of 'being good' til xmas - at least that gives you all a few weeks to think about it and if she wants it badly enough then she'll put in the effort.

Like ummmm I think having her ear done is the better option. That way its not too obvious, its easily hidden and if she changes her mind afterwards she can remove the ring and no one need ever know.

=0) twaflooers.

[lainiej]

Hi Cameo. My daughter is just 15 and she got the top of her ear pierced recently. She had been asking me if she could have it done for some time and, like your daughter, she accepted my saying no (although I have the same thing so felt a bit hypocritical). ALso like your situation she phoned me from town to ask as her friends were all getting piercings and didnt go behind my back and make it a fait accomplit. In the end I agreed as I was impressed that she didnt just go ahead and have it done behind my back.
Thankfully she doesnt seem to want any more - compared to one friend who has loads of them. As you say, in the great scheme of things its not really a big deal but it can become one. The rings can always be removed and the hole closes up. Good luck x

[cherrybomb]

Hi cameo,
My daughter is 14 and sounds just like yours. She has the normal ear piercing and I have recently let her have her ear pierced at the top. I have put my foot down about facial piercings (nose) but instead agreed as a compromise to letting her have one targus pierced (the little flap where the face meets the ear). She now admits that it looks nicer than in the nose, it's more fashionable and you can't see it much when her hair is down.

Mind you my daughter now wants her bellybutton pierced so I may have won another battle but the war isn't over.

[cameo]

Thank you all for your advice.

My daughter sometimes uses AB herself and saw my question and obviously read the replies.

She didn't say too much apart from the fact that she doesn't know if having her ear done at the top would be a problem as when she was 9 she had to have her ears 'pinned back'.

Out of the upper ear or nose i would definately prefer the ear.

At least having read all your replies she knows I'm not the only mother who doesn't instantly say yes!!!

Thanks again xXx