Things aren't what you think they are!

[SGKelloe32]

Sorry people but i couldnt really find an exact category to fit my question into..........i'm wondering if there are people who are daft as me....did you ever think that a word or abbreviation stood for something different than it actually means? Up until i was about 14 i thought C.I.D really meant constables in disguise and thats why they didn't wear uniforms on the bill!

[Merlin]

A lot of acronyms have come about for convenience in emails and texts and I don't know most of them - I only found mout what LOL meant recently (I thought it might be "Looney On Line" - it did seem to fit). A useful one I do know when condemning someone else's posting as unbelievable rubbish is WALOB.

I thought the words to the Dad's Army theme (who do you think you are kidding Mr Hitler) went "Mr Brown goes off to town and 'e ain't 21" (It's "Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8:21") - but it fits!!

My physics teacher scribbled over my homework once and made the comment "DNA" at the end. The homework was nothing to with that field and I had to crawl up to him to ask for an explanation. He said, in a loud and measured voice "Do NOT abbreviate!!!!"

Not funny, necessarily, but perhaps a little human interest (as Benny Goodman once said after an anecdote died on stage).

[RainbowBrite]

until i was about 13 i thought that chimney was chimley as thats what it sounded like everyone was saying (it took me a long time to accept the truth!). When i was very little i thought that all the food we ate was recycled poo, i remember saying to a friend "where do you think food like....um....potatoes and carrots comes from?" then sort of working it out once i thought about it for a bit! there are so many more but i just can't think of them!

[fathead]

not quite a abbreviation, but in primary school I thought that putting salt on your dinner made it cool down quickly - an a survey amongst pals proves I wasn't the only one!

[enigma]

I can't think of any abbreviations which I got mixed up with but I dare say that there has been a few because I was a bit dizzy at times in my teens - still am if I am honest ! Something which does spring to mind though is when I got mixed up with the lyrics to the Queen song "Bohemian Rhapsody". Instead of the line "Spare him his life from this monstrosity" , I thought that it was 'for his warm sausages' and in the line "Bismillah , no we will not let you go" , I thought that it was 'Miss Miller' ! I was sixteen at the time and had a head full of nonsense ! Sadly , I think that I have passed this silly gene to my seven year old daughter. The other week there I told her that we had better get our skates on to go to the shops so that she would be back in time to get ready for her Brownies. She was gutted to learn that I only meant that we had to hurry and that we weren't literally going to go skating down to the shops. Yes , I can just imagine that - seven 1/2 months pregnant , huge belly , pushing my baby in her buggy and skating down the road. What a sight that would have made !!!

[David H]

I used to do this sometimes so I gradually made a list, which is now here http://groups.msn.com/davidskingsburycollection/uselessinformation.msnw

it contains over 300 of the exact type of initials you describe (would have been more, but the page was full up).

[natalie_1982]

I thought LOL meant Lots of Love, I prefer Looney on Line though.

[CiderMonkey]

A friend of mine once said that she'd always thought German Measles was Germ & Measles. She thought it was like normal measles but a litle bit worse cos there was a Germ with it too!

[natalie_1982]

Just read a joke that reminded me of it, until a few weeks ago I thought duct tape was actually duck tape. I never uestioned how it had anything to do with ducks.

[bernardo]

But surely it is duck tape?

I have a friend from university who did a post-graduate course of analysing rock samples from Antarctica.  In his final PhD thesis, he described his methodology of collecting samples, and listed "duck tape" as one of the items of equipment.

[natalie_1982]

It's duct tape, Duck tape is a brand name I think I just googled both.

[natalie_1982]

Unless the tape he used was actually made from ducks, or used to tie ducks up. But I can't see what that would have to do with geology.

[LeedsRhinos]

A friend at school was asked what W.H.O. stood for (World Health Organisation). He put Whale Harpooning Organisation. He took some stick for a while after.

[SGKelloe32]

Ooh, when i was at school we went on a trip to durham cathedral, where st cuthbert is buried. The tour guide asked us who was buried there and i said tutenkhamun, and i couldn't understand why everyone was laughing at me - lets just hope my daughter doesn't turn out as dizzy as me!

[Merlin]

Seeing that posting about Bohemian Rhapsody (BTW it's "Spare him his life for his pork sausages") reminds me of other song lyrics. What is it, exactly, that Desmond Dekker's wife and kids do when his ears are alight?

First, I thought LOL was Lots of Love. But considering the context that would mean Looney on Line. That made me Laugh Out Loud.

[Bangkok]

 

The mishearing of lyrics is called mondegreens, and there are hundreds of sites with examples, these are just a couple...

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/chronicle/archive/2003/07/31/DD214263.DTL

http://www.fun-with-words.com/mala_mondegreens.html

 

Regarding LOL, a guy at work used to put that in e mails to me and I thought he was coming on to me until someone told me it meant laugh out loud.  Not sure how I was supposed to know that given what he had written was not funny!

 

[nykkieberry]

I heard this guy on the radio say that his girlfriend ticked HGV on a  job application form...he asked her why when she didn't drive and she said I ticked it because it means Haven't Got Vehicle. LOL!

[Merlin]

I found this:

http://www.amiright.com/misheard/artist/dekkerdesmond.shtml

So many in one song - I'm not the only one who thought that his wife and kids f****d off and left him!! And I thought they had baked beans for breakfast.

And on a more sombre note - how long did I try to work out what the letters YHWH stood for? - good God!!.

[Pippa68]

When I was little I thought that 'TO LET' signs had the 'i' removed...