Mobile phones

[Scylax]

It is hard for me to believe that I am the only person
in the Universe that doesn't have a mobile phone -
aren't I ?

[naz_nomad]

Yes, but I bet I'm the only one without a computer keyboard

[Quizmonster]

You're not alone, Scylax. These things are an abomination. From all the semi-conversations you have been forced - by idiots standing next to you in the pub, for example - to listen to have you ever heard one that was even vaguely interesting?
"I'm on the train..."
"Was it Red Leicester or Double Gloucester I was supposed to get?"
"I'm just turning into your street now."
Madness!

[Scylax]

I was talking to a midwife last week who told me that
she had delivered an infant recently, which had a
mobile phone congenitally welded to its ear. I believe
this because I often see youngsters in town who have
suffered this condition all their lives.

Apparently the condition is called Auricular Nokiaphonus,
and is infectious.