school and confidentiality.

[Goodsoulette]

After a nasty break up with my ex, I removed my son from his school and put him another one closer to home. J is only 5 and the day before I had done this, his step dad threatened to take him. I felt safer with J going to a school that didnt know him, so they wouldnt let him go home with him, the other parents would think something was suspicious etc if he did at any point try to take him. I informed J's old school of my reasons. and had explained that the ex had been violent towards me throughout our entire relationship.
Ex turned up at my house ranting because he heard from another parent at the old school, about my reasons, which had been leaked by one of the teachers to some of the parents. This has wound him up royally and I have had no end of grief over it. I still think I have done the right thing. Is the school supposed to gossip about my family's personal information? if it isnt allowed how can I complain? I feel that they really compromised my safety cause it could have easily ended up with more broken bones for me that night.

[spangle111]

Hi love,
You have certainly done the right thing in moving him to a different school and have every right for your reasons to remain confidential. I would give your local education authority a call and ask them what their policy is on issues like this, and also ask them who to complain to. If you are sure it is one of the teachers you could always start with the head teacher and see if you get anywhere with them.
Good Luck and Happy Christmas to you and your son and here's to a more peaceful new year! X

[WendyS]

I think you should have a word with the headmaster of your son's former school and tell him that you feel your safety and your child's safety has been compromised by indiscrete behaviour by one of the teachers. Perhaps the teacher was young or inexperienced and really hadn't understood the implications of making a casual comment which has subsequently been gosipped around the community. but they need to be aware of the damage that has been done. I think a quiet word with the headmaster of the new school would also be in order so that he can share your concerns about safety with the staff but ensure this time that history is not repeated.

[Goodsoulette]

His new school have been fantastic. His new head master brilliant, adn the teachers and him have kept an extra close eye on my son.
His old school which is supposed to be the best in town have absolutely flabbergasted me. I do know for sure that it was a teacher, and I know they are just human like anyone else but I did make absolutely clear that there was a history of violence and that the fewer people who knew about it the better.

[bednobs]

your ex sounds mental enough to make it up though, i think a deep breath and finding out exactly who said what first is i order

[Goodsoulette]

I have found it out. I have spoken to the woman who got it from the teacher at his school.

[bednobs]

hang on, i thought the teacher told your ex, not a woman

[Goodsoulette]

nah the teacher told just some woman whose kid goes to that school, and she ended up telling a few other parents too. II had to contact her in the end and ask where the information had come from. Like I said "leaked by the teachers to some of the parents"

[saxy_jag]

You should complain big-time to the governors of the old school. If you have no success there, then complain in writing to the local authority - who will probably want to assure themselves that you have been to the governors first. At the very least you need to find out who told the other parents what (which the governors/LEA can invesigate), and that person should be reprimanded.

Teachers (in fact any school staff) have absolutely no right to tell other parents personal details about other pupils and their families, for just the reasons you have outlined. It breaches every rule of confidentiality. Even when parents work in the school, that rule should still be observed. As you have said, in the light of your personal circumstances, the person's actions could have have seriously compromised your and your child's safety.

[Goodsoulette]

Thanks Saxy~jag, I was beginning to think people though I was nuts. I actually approached the new school today for advice, and as they are fully aware of our circumstances, they were horrified. I have written a letter with all the details, names etc and have a meeting with the old headmaster tomorrow am. If it had just been one of us having an affair it would be a totally different story, I wouldnt care.

I dont want anyone to get sacked, but I feel that family circumstances should be kept private, not shared with anyone who asks.

[ummmm]

This gave me goosebumps

[Miss Inquiry]

Goodsoulette, your not nuts at all, it's awful. I am totally disgusted! When faced with such a delicate private situation and children are involved, people should have the decency to stop gossiping and think about the consequences of thier actions.

Your doing exactly the right thing every step of the way, your on a difficult journey, but getting stronger evry day and idiots like this need to be stopped. Make sure you write the letter and don't let it slip to the side as christmas approaches and other priorities take over. It's really important this never happens again, for anyone in this situation.

Thinking of you. x