Christmas and Work

[Ric.ror]

As I dont really like anyone at work how can I get out of going to parties, meals drinks etc - I have had 7 days leave to avoid it this year and now they want to do one that I can go to - honestly they dislike me as much as I do them

[maggie01]

How awfull to work somewhere where you do not like or are not liked by anyone. Maybe if you just swallowed it for a couple of hours, away from work you may find their company is not so bad after all. If you don't enjoy it then at least you gave it a go

[reinganum]

Difficult to answer this one without knowing a bit more about your circumstances. If you have young children, that provides an easy excuse (unavailability of baby sitters etc.) Aged parents, ditto.

If it's inevitable, then do the "boss" thing; make a conspicuous appearance early on, and stay for 30 mins or so, then make polite excuse and leave.

I hesitate to wonder why they don't like you - is it an active dislike, or do you just not "fit in"? I've had some of the latter, for example being the only youngster among an office full of older people (and now, in my case, it's the reverse). There sometimes tends to be an "office culture" and if you don't follow it, you become ostracised.

[Ric.ror]

Well an example I will give is that I suggested we buy a goat instead of the usual secret santa - I did not suggest that we murder the infant Jesus but you would not have thought so

[reinganum]

Aha.

Buying a goat, though worthy, isn't a great deal of fun, and I suspect that's where the problem lies. Why not compromise and suggest that all the "Secret Santa" items be bought from charity shops?

[Ric.ror]

Yes nice idea but it wont happen in my lifetime in this place To be honest I like to do my own thing and I dont really care that I am not liked I would be more worried if I was here - anyway life/christmas is too short but the more you pull away the more the try to reel you in

[Mograt]

If you are really not bothered and the dislike goes both ways as you say, simply be honest and say that you don't want to go out after work. Either that or you're washing your hair.

[Ric.ror]

Mograt - you are right. I don't know why I pretend that I am doing this or that. I should just say 'no thanks not this time' or I will stay in and man the phones. That should do the trick