Is it ok to hold a flame for an ex?

[yolande]

I have a wonderful boyfriend who I live with, we are very happy and have been together nearly 3 years. Every Christmas my ex comes home (he lives abroad), and every Christmas it messes with my head a little. We were together for a year when we were 19 (8 years ago), but there has always been a bit of me which still thinks 'what if'. I would never leave my partner for him, but I still think about it, and find him attractive and easy to chat to. Is it ok to still think of someone else or is it bad? I would hate to think of my boyfriend still having a 'what if' ex-girlfriend, so I feel a bit guilty/mean. What do you think?

[LazyGun]

I think it is probably only human to be nostalgic for past "special" relationships. The key to it is whether your BF is aware of it or not... if not, there is no problem... if he is aware that something is awry, you have kind of answered your own question yolande.... you have said yourself that you wouldn't like it if your BF hankered after the past in the same way.

I think we are genetically programmed to enjoy wallowing in nostalgic bittersweet memories from time to time.... just remember that life moves on, and most importantly of all, we all change over time... the past is another country, and the person you remember is not necessarily there anymore.