ChatterBank3 mins ago
my dad...
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over the last year my father has gotten a divorce from my step mother.. she cheated on him... now he has a new girlfriend.. they have been together for a few months (about 3 or 4) now she is treating me like im her child and i never get to spend time with my dad... im 16 and my dad is only 33.. hes pushing me away because he thinks hes in love with her... i dont know what to do. my mom doesnt care because i live with her and see him on sundays... now im never with my dad and i miss him a lot but dont want to see him because of his girlfriend... what should i tell me father? every one says to tell him i need dad time but thats not it.. i want my daddy back.. i dont want to spend time with his girlfriend i want to spend time with him while i can..what do i DO?
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I agree with bednobs there's nothing you can do apart from tell him that you want to spend more time with him. Maybe add a little something in to let him know that you don't appreciate the way she speaks to you or something to that affect. Having said that you said they've only been together a few months so it's still pretty new to both of them, it might not be this way forever. Talk to him.
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Perhaps you could take the more mature way, by having a 1 to 1 with your Dad's girfriend. Explain things to her and maybe ease the tension. Have you thought that she feels insecure as much as you, after all he is a 'blood' relative not just a friend. I think, maybe, a good girly chat could put things into perspective for both, you and girlfriend. I know it's not easy, I was in a similar situation with roles reversed; I was the adult intruder. After a long chat, which was instigated by my boyfriends child, we became best friends, doing lots together. However, I do feel for you, but it's all a part of maturing. Hang in there, babe, I'm sure with a little communication, the whole affair will be 'sorted'. Good luck, I hope I've been some help. Let me know how it pans out. Anyway, it's early days for gf + dad, it may/not be a long term thing. Chill babe, luv Caz X
Perhaps you could take the more mature way, by having a 1 to 1 with your Dad's girfriend. Explain things to her and maybe ease the tension. Have you thought that she feels insecure as much as you, after all he is a 'blood' relative not just a friend. I think, maybe, a good girly chat could put things into perspective for both, you and girlfriend. I know it's not easy, I was in a similar situation with roles reversed; I was the adult intruder. After a long chat, which was instigated by my boyfriends child, we became best friends, doing lots together. However, I do feel for you, but it's all a part of maturing. Hang in there, babe, I'm sure with a little communication, the whole affair will be 'sorted'. Good luck, I hope I've been some help. Let me know how it pans out. Anyway, it's early days for gf + dad, it may/not be a long term thing. Chill babe, luv Caz X
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Im sorry to hear you are feeling like this. The best thing i can suggest you doing is maybe explaining to your dad that you really miss just having time with him and you, and maybe could you have 1 day that you both go out together, maybe suggest sundays being your day go to the cinema for lunch anything. Im afraid thats the best i think you will get as he does havehis life also with that lady.
Aswell it may be very hard for her too, she probably feels very awkward and doesnt know how to be around you especially taking on someones children that are all grown up now. Dont you think maybe its a nice gesture that she is treating you like one of her own?rather than having nothing to do with you? And also maybe she is always there because she is trying to get along with you and make the effort?
Im not taking sides whatsoever but also he shouldnt be pushing you away. Tell him how you dont want to see him because shes always there and that you want quality time with just him even for just one day.
I hope it all falls into place for you it cannot be easy x
Aswell it may be very hard for her too, she probably feels very awkward and doesnt know how to be around you especially taking on someones children that are all grown up now. Dont you think maybe its a nice gesture that she is treating you like one of her own?rather than having nothing to do with you? And also maybe she is always there because she is trying to get along with you and make the effort?
Im not taking sides whatsoever but also he shouldnt be pushing you away. Tell him how you dont want to see him because shes always there and that you want quality time with just him even for just one day.
I hope it all falls into place for you it cannot be easy x
I think what's already been said here is sensible advice - try to have a quiet word with your dad about how you feel. Asking his girlfriend for a little space might be better from him than you.
It sounds as though his new girlfriend is trying very hard to get along with you, maybe too hard. This can't be easy for her either, and it's probably how she thinks this is how people go about this situation. At least she's making the effort. It's more than some would do and there are many divorcees' kids out there who would envy you.
You need to tell your dad that whilst you appreciate his girlfriend making this effort, it would be nice to have him to yourself now and again. WIth Christmas coming, why not see if you can persuade him to go shopping with you so that you can both buy her a Christmas present. You could maybe have lunch whilst you're out and make a day of it.
But if you don't tell your dad how you feel, he will never know, and he will never be able to help you come to terms with their separation. Go on. You know it makes sense.
It sounds as though his new girlfriend is trying very hard to get along with you, maybe too hard. This can't be easy for her either, and it's probably how she thinks this is how people go about this situation. At least she's making the effort. It's more than some would do and there are many divorcees' kids out there who would envy you.
You need to tell your dad that whilst you appreciate his girlfriend making this effort, it would be nice to have him to yourself now and again. WIth Christmas coming, why not see if you can persuade him to go shopping with you so that you can both buy her a Christmas present. You could maybe have lunch whilst you're out and make a day of it.
But if you don't tell your dad how you feel, he will never know, and he will never be able to help you come to terms with their separation. Go on. You know it makes sense.
thanks to all the people that replied to this... after reading all of what you said.. i replied to an email my dad wrote me..all he could talk about was his girlfriend and it made me mad... so i told him how i felt... that i think its stupid i only see him for 1 day and he cant even spend that time with me... i think it sounded kinda harsh but its making me feel like he doesnt love his only child so maybe it will get to him and he will think about it... thanks again everyone!
I think he's just being a bit insensitive because he's got a new girlfriend who he's in love with and enjoys spending time with. The novelty value hasn't worn off yet. What he needs to be reminded of is that you're his daughter, you don't live with him so when you see him once a week you want to spend quality time with him. He can see her the rest of the week. Its not too much to ask that he should spend Sunday with you. He should be glad that a 16 yr old still wants to spend time with her dad. He will never have this chance again because you're growing up and will have a life of your own to lead. And if he doesn't make the most of this time now, it may be too late - he won't get it again. The girlfriend should step back and leave time for him to spend with you, and be understanding about it. You shouldn't be worried about or jealous of her - she's no threat to you. You will always be his daughter and you'll always have a special place in his heart that she will never reach because she's his girlfriend, not his daughter. I really hope you sort this out, but don't give up on him - men are a bit thick sometimes when it comes to feelings and things like this!
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