Help help help !!!

[barneyboo]

I would love to do some kind of working from home but am in a state about what to do. After being mentally bullied at school (16 years ago) I have never been able to go off the end of our drive unless taken out in the car by mum (although I did take nine GCSE's and got top grades in all subjects). I did work with maladjusted adults and worked nights in a nursing home for five years but was always bullied by some member of staff to the point of vomitting and crying before I went. Finally in 2002 when my grandad became seriously ill I packed this job in and just stayed at home. My grandad died and then a month later my dad got ill and died two months after this. My grandma then became ill and me and mum looked after her until she died in 2004, so it was an absolutely terrible time. She left me some money and I have lived on this and my savings ever since but this money is starting to run out and I am in a panic as to what to do. Because of my past experiences I avoid having to deal with people and in no way could go back into "normal" employment without making myself ill. I don't want to sit vegetating and living off the state as this would make me feel more of a failure than I already do and would absolutely love to be able to maybe set up a website and sell things or do something like this. I am good at art and can do almost anything in this area but have absolutely no confidence to push myself forwards. I write childrens stories and illustrate them as well. If anybody has any suggestions that could give me a bit of courage I would really appreciate it as I am at the end of my tether and crying as I write this. I am 32 years old and female. Please please please please I'm desperate.

[Solarjunkie]

Those bullies have taken half your life, but now you have reached the point where you are going to regain your life.
Your first point of call is probably your doctor, who should be able to put you in touch with with counsellors to help you take the first steps.
This site http://www.phobics-society.org.uk/ should also provide some support.
Having lived off your savings all these years, it would not be unreasonable to take some benefits for a while, you deserve a hand for a whie.
The very best of luck to you.

[barneyboo]

Thanks Solarjunkie, I did go to a counsellor in 2001 but she too turned out to be a bully, behaved unprofessionally and the whole saga ended up with me going to a Disciplinary Hearing (which she didn't bother to turn up to), and she ended up in deep trouble. I don't really feel as though I want to talk to anybody face to face, and I feel comfortable in my own little safe world. I can't help but feel that if I try to backtrack over the past I might be opening a can of worms as I have developed my own way of dealing with things. I really would love to do something that I enjoy in the comfort of my (well mum's) home. As I said I love art and making things so this would be ideal. I also write poetry. It's just the getting started and finding something that would be profitable that bothers me. I wouldn't be bothered if I only earned �100 per week because this would be better than earning nothing at all, and it would keep me occupied.

[Ree0909]

you mentioned a possible solution in your question, have you tried selling your art and/or stories on the web? Ebay?

[Ree0909]

in addition to the above, you say you have received some counselling which I think is good to help you to deal with the traumas of the past. Have you also considered life coaching, it deals with how to move forward and acheive your goals, this could aid your confidence and work situation. Coaching is mainly done on the telephone so there is not a need for one on one contact if you do not want it. I am a coach and would recomend it.

[mydogsandme]

barneyboo try looking at www.homeworking.com- they have a discussion forum for people working from home as well as lots of advice on scams and what works and what doesn't. I'm sure with you artistic talent you can find something. You've got a skill that lots would envy. If you cold leave your house I'd suggest you try being a facepainter which is what I am. You can take the jobs that suit you and you feel comfortable with, use your skills and feel in control too. Let us know how you get on- I sympathize as after years of bullying and put-downs I have trouble with work situations too. Take care

[barneyboo]

Thankyou mydogsandme, I have actually started painting canvasses and hope to put them on ebay when I have done a few more. Then hopefully based on what happens with this I will be setting up my own website because I know how to do this also.

[mydogsandme]

fantastic- when you're up and running you must let us know! Teresa