Unusual requests

[enigma]

Would you go to the funeral of someone you didn't know ? My hubby got an email from his manager asking him to attend a funeral of a colleague whose father had died. My hubby barely knows his colleague and has never met her father , nor have any of her other colleagues. Apparently though , this is what they do. They turn up at the funeral to show support but I think that it's a bit weird and i've never heard of that happening before. Different if the woman had wanted her colleagues around her but she didn't even ask. My hubby didn't want to seem like the odd one out by not going so he did and shuffled around awkwardly at the back of the crematorium. He said that it was awful because people seemed to be whispering and wondering who they were and he said that if god forbid , someone should die in our family , he wouldn't tell them in case they turned up. So what do you think , intruding on a deeply private moment or showing support , even although you weren't asked to attend. What would you do ?

[Eve]

I agree it's a personal thing. It happened at my old firm when our trainee's dad died.

I must admit i'd find it strange if I was grieving at a family funeral and a load of people I didn't really know turned up from work, would maybe feel differently if it was people I was also good friends with. I'd feel uncomfortable with people I didn't really know's eyes being on me when I was grieving.

I would tend to think that a donation to charityhospital etc... or floral tribute or thinking of you card and flowers or similar may be more appropriate in the circumstances.

[joko]

i would not be at all happy if my boss invited half the company to my family funeral without asking me!

i will invite who i want, not him, and they would be people i knew and liked, not strangers

i couldn't care less about them representing the company

i would also be a bit peeved at being expected to attend the funeral of a strangers relative - you cannot get more removed!

people say its to show respect - but you are not doing that - because you are only there under duress, you don't know them, don't want to be there, you avoid all the other relatives, and want to leave at the first chance you get - some respect!!

I attend funerals to pay my respects and say goodbye to people i cared for...and at the very least actually know!

funerals are for family, friends and work friends.

[Aprilis]

I agree with joko 100%. Those are my feeling entirely.