very confused

[skyhi9921]

me and my good friend have been seeing each other for the past 9 months but nothing serious and neither of us knew where we stood he isnt a player ! but he txt me the other day saying he cant see me any more not even as m8s he said he really likes me but isnt ready for a relationship as far as i know he doesnt even have very many female friends even so i dont know what i have done can someone help?

[Roughquest]

I dont quite understand your question here Sky, why do you say 'he isnt a player' ? He isnt your boyfriend - i.e. are you an item/in love? If not then why are you bothered if he is a player or not. Sounds like he has got himself a g/f now though hence his mind is elsewhere and he will lose touch with you if this is the case if he is all loved up, he wouldnt tell you as he probably doesnt want to hurt you if he has met someone.

[skyhi9921]

we never were going out officially no
but i dont think he is seeing any1 as i know most of his m8s he is however 13 yrs older than me and i dunno if this bothers him

[Roughquest]

Hi Sky, I doubt if the age gap is an issue, but not knowing how old you are either.....I cant comment, do you wish you were an item then - as its not really your concern if he is seeing anyone is it ? SOrry to sound blunt but you appear to be asking if he is seeing someone else behind your back.

[skyhi9921]

sorry wrote that question in a hurry im 22 i dont mind if he is seeing someone or even if we had kept our friendship thats what bugs me is he gave our friendship up so easily i have known him for many yrs and we only in the last yr or so realised how we felt about each other is there anything i can do

[maggie01]

Maybe he is not interested in girls if you know what I mean

[Roughquest]

Unfortunately, men dont think about the friendship side of things once another woman (or man) is on the scene, all they can think about is their love interest....I am sure given time he will call you.....would he have any problems in his life i.e.family/health problems - this could be another reason why he is retreating into his cave....for some solitude, men like to have space and to be alone - men like to find a solution and during this 'cave' time they dont like to be disturbed....

[skyhi9921]

thanx roughquest although i dont know of anything it does seem possible
i will give it some thought

[4getmenot]

get rid, get him out of your life, he's one of those men that didnt want to go out with you even though you are really kind of an item. But he's waiting for someone better to come along, and then he can say well I'm sorry we wernt going out. This still makes him a player whether he sees other girls or not. Now he�s feeling guilty that he�s stopped you moving on, so this is why he cant be mates either because he knows temptation is there. It�s the best thing. I�m saying all this because the last 2 years I was mug enough to fall for it, that he wouldn�t go out with me because he didn�t want to settle, he wanted to do his own thing but if I did he got angry. The whole time another bloke wanted me and I still went for the other coz thought he might change his mind one day. Every other week we�d say cant do this anymore, then the next week we�d be messing about again. Finally on valentines he was a complete arse and I said that was it, we said our goodbyes the other week and I gave the other bloke a chance, Saw ex over weekend and he tried it on again and I said no sorry I�ve got someone else waiting at home for me. That�s when he starting calling me sl@g, easy etc. From the man that didn�t want me and he expected me to pine for him the rest of my life. Anyway sorry I�ve ran on but you really need to get rid and move on before you get really hurt. You may say he�s not a player but he�s still trying to control you.

[skyhi9921]

thanx thats very helpful