can i get my money back?

[michellep1]

I lent my ex boyfriend approx 40k to help his business - this was through my bank and credit cards, i also paid off a lot of his outstanding bills to get him straight. This was supposed to be a short-term loan but has now turned into a long term one with me making all the re-payments, is there any way i can get this money back? i have been paying the minimums on the credit cards but my funds are about to end!! He seems to be ignoring me and i'm scared i'm going to be left with all this debt. Thanks for your help in advance

[Mrs_Pegasus]

Unfortunately, unless there was a written agreement you would have to take him to court but it will be long and costly if he objects. He could say the money and help was a gift and therefore you cannot get any money back. However, if it was to start a business, do you have proof you handed the money to him.

I would strongly advise speaking with a solicitor if only to get a strongly worded letter to him to see if he will play fair and start paying.

[seatrout]

Sending a solicitors letter is probably the only action you can take.

I doubt if you will get your money back

[WendyS]

I very much fear that you will not get any of your money back. Unless you have a formal written agreement with him I'm not sure you have a legal leg to stand on. If you have evidence of payments in the forms of cheques, credit card statements etc, I would take them to a solicitor, but in the absence of any legal agreement I suspect your worst fears will be recognised and that you will be left with the debt. Please in future never let your heart rule your head in financial matters. We read time and time again in these posts how trusting people have been conned. If you can't afford to lose, it, don't loan it. You can try getting a solicitor to write to him but I fear this will only involve you in extra costs with only a small chance of reaping any benefit.

[dknowles2007]

I suspect that even if you had a written agreement with your boyfriend, there is a chance that the court will take the view that it is a domestic arrangement and therefore none of you intended to create legal relations HOWEVER there is an exception to this rule if the amounts involved are high. I think I would be inclined to take some kind of action considering the amount involved.

[netta]

Hi, I am in a similar situation and I had a letter from him stating what he owed. 4 years later and endless solicitors etc I am no further forward.He too is avoiding me and I know he now has money to repay me but he is avoiding me ,the law or the system does not seem to be able to help so is one supposed to bring in the heavies !!!!!

[tricky27]

I am in a similar situation here having loaned my ex at least �12K to try and save his business - that was 4 years ago and I am not managing to pay it off - in fact it is increasing because of interest - as I am also trying to bring up 2 kids on my own. I was wondering if I could take him to the small claims court on my own?

[michellep1]

Hi, i went to the citizens advice and they arranged a meeting with a solicitor for me - she was very helpful and said that i could take him/his business to court - as i have the bank statements that show all the purchases and they arent usual things i would buy in my everyday life. If you have some sort of proof then there is more of a positive side!!! I havent resorted to that just yet but it is my next step - good luck x