Buying rounds

[Karen2005]

One of my friends rarely pays his way at the pub. One memorable ocassion is where I bought a pitcher of something or other for about �10 for both of us to share. Later in the evening we both wanted another drink, but not alcoholic and when I asked him for a lemonade he put his hand out for some money!! Cheeky s**!

He often comes out with very little cash (only cards) so sometimes even when he does offer to pay for drinks, the credit card limit is over a certain amount, so he has to come back over and ask for cash anyway!

He is a really good friend, but it is starting to annoy slightly now. How can I drop subtle hints? For the record, we are a similar age, I'm a girl, he's a guy, and earn roughly the same amount.

Best answers - I'll buy you a virtual drink with virtual money!!!

[CheekyChops]

The time for subtle hints has passed - if he sticks his hand out for money I would says 'Er, I think it's your turn isn't it'.

If he came out with no money he would go thirsty! Don't get me wrong, I don't mind paying for a friend occasionally if they have no money as I know they would do the same for me. Your mate is taking the p!ss.

[Loosehead]

If there's a group then a simple solution is to have kitty . The trouble with rounds there's always resentment in the end because there's always someone who manages to be first out of the cab and last into the bar!

[redcrx]

i know a guy just like that.
we used to go out as a large group (about 15/20 people) for a meal at xmas / bdays etc.
he would never have cash on him so when bill was split equally at end of eve he'd take cash from everyone (including the tip money) and then pay exact bill on his card with no tip. It worked out that he either didnt have to pay or actually made money.
We now send someone to pay with him and they make sure he pays same as us on his card and then the cash gets paid in.
Even embaressing him hasnt made him any different, hes still a tight@rse!
good luck, sounds like you need to spell it out to your friend

[~Wingnut~]

Ooo he sounds a cheeky swine!

Same as Cheekychops, I don't mind buying a drink if a mate is short but for it to keep happening is just taking the mickey. I wouldn't dare say do you want another drink then hold my hand out for the money!

Bit different to you but we had friends come up and visit us and we went for a walk and stopped at a tea shop. We all had tea and cake then when it was time to pay they promptly got up and waited outside whilst we paid! Now back then we had very little money and obviously thought everyone would be paying their own share. I was even making dinner for us all that night (all bought by us) so I can only assume they felt we owed them as they had come to visit us so we should pay!!

Next time I suggest when you have finished your drink you get up to get yourself a drink and don't ask him if he wants one. If he says he has no money say nor have you and have cut back on your spending that week so you could afford to go out that night. Make a joke of it at first but don't let him take you for a ride.

[Karen2005]

Yeah, don't worry - on the "pitcher occassion" I certainly did put him in his place and tell him it was his turn!

I think a kitty may be the answer when there's a group of us all together.

He never offers to buy a drink first, so I should either stand my ground and make sure he goes up to the bar first or take his turn when it comes around.

Cheers everyone! Drinks all round!

[~Wingnut~]

Good God Red I can't believe someone can have the cheek to cheat friends out of money like that and then not be embaressed about it!
How did you all discover that this was what he was doing? I don't think I would want to go out for a meal with him in the group if he had done that to me. Your obviously more forgiving :o)

[Octavius]

At this stage I wouldn�t go to the point of asking for money. If it was just the two of you I would just buy myself a drink and let him sit there without. No two ways about it. Have you really let him walk all over you for a long time? No wonder he thinks he can get away with it.

[patsyquinn]

How much of a friend is he? He must know what he's doing. You must be direct with him - it's the only way. If you don't say something it will build up inside you until it becomes unbearable. I know it's hard but you must confront him - if he's that much of a friend he'll want to resolve this.

[mrs_overall]

If there's just the 2 of you going out or a drink, you could enter the pub and say "I'll grab a table while you get the drinks." You could also say "You get the drinks in...I'm off to the loo." At least he'll be forced into getting the first round in. If he's a really good friend, tell him that his cheapskate attitude is making you feel resentful and jeopardising the friendship. Good luck.

[fairkatrina]

Why not just solve all this and stick to buying your own drinks? When I go out with my friends we all go to the bar together and get our own drinks; occasionally we'll deal in 'I'll get yours this time, you get my next one' but generally keeping money seperate solves a lot of arguments the day after!

We used to all take turns to buy rounds, but had a friend who would buy herself a coke on her round and singles for everyone else, and then when it was someone else's round ask for a double JD! By keeping our money seperate now everyone is happy and no one is upset by a confrontation.

Next time you go out just walk straight up to the bar, keeping him with you, order your drink, and when you've got it and paid ask him what he's going to get (making it obvious you mean for himself..) If he wants you to pay just laugh it off, but don't give in! If he has no money at all on him buy him ONE coke and tell him next time he'll have to remember his wallet or go thirsty.

[joko]

just be brazen but jokey - "...right, come on miladdo, its your round, i'll have a ..."
and then say you are off to the loo.