should i leave him

[oldgrape]

my boyfriend of 3 years and father to my 1 year (also has a 5 yr old boy) is out 5 nights a week and has taken a week of to spend with his two sons and myself so far he has spent all the time in the pub leaving me to tend to both his kids so not really a holiday for me he has just got in ****** as a fart and reeled out a load of abuse at me and gone to sleep what would you do

[nutgoneflake]

Hold a pillow over his face while he's asleep??

Seriously though, is he worth the hassle? When he's sober, or in for the night, what's he like then?

[bensmum]

Has he alays been like this or is this a fairly recent change in behaviour? It sounds as if he is very immature - not ready for family responsibility. Have you tried talking to him about this?
I'm probably not the best person to answer this but I would have to say if you can leave him then do so. It may be that you leaving or throwing him out would bring him to his senses. Having lived with an abusive drunk I am concerned that his drinking may get out of control.

[tradey]

he sounds like a waste of space and only thinks of himself, if i was you id get rid now youll do better without him

[oldgrape]

he has always gone out every night but since i have had my son he hasn't changed at all he does nothing to help he normally stays in on a monday and a friday night and its always nice but hes out the rest of the week he came in earlier out of his head and when i asked him to take his shoes off before laying on the bed he started shouting that he knew i couldnt cope with the kids and that im a **** mum and what the F**k is my problem

[nutgoneflake]

This is no life for you.
How much money does he get through?
Do you have any time to be by yourself?
Do you really think this is going to get any better?
Do you have any family living nearby, or someone else who you could talk to? Or anyone who could have the boys for a bit while you have a proper talk to him?

[jackthehat]

Run him a nice hot bath.................let him soak for a few minutes................then drop your toaster in...............plugged-in, of course :o)

Selfish, ungrateful git-wizard !

[cruella]

So sorry to hear about your problem.
Ther is no way I would leave him, I would kick him out and stay put! It must be so lonely for you living like that. Think I would prefer to be on my own than to put up with a man like that.
Depends how much you care for him.
Take care anyway, don't let him drag you down too much!

[cazzz1975]

wow after only 3 years he is treating you this way?

I would leave personally before my confidence was too destroyed and waste any further time in a dead relationship

[Rubyrose]

Get out while you still can!

If when you first met him he had been like he is now then you would never have fallen for him and you wouldn't stand for it. You wouldn't have stood for this kind of behaviour. So why now? Why put up with it now just because you have a child by him?

[DottyH]

I would stop giving him pocket money and put a shovel in his hand and tell him to start creating an allotment so that when you have no money for food because he has p1ssed it all up the wall at least you can have vegatable soup.

[bobtheturkey]

work in an office and post regularly on ab you will more men than you can handle after you :)

[Beads]

Hi oldgrape...if you're seriously thinking of leaving him then I'd have a serious talk with him when he is sober. He sounds very selfish, like he takes you for granted. It can't be much fun for you...it can't be much fun for his other kids either.

[leelapops]

oldgrape, I really feel for you. What a t***er he is being. No-one should ever put up with abuse like this (that's what it is), and especially when you have a family to consider too. He is rude, ignorant and a waste of your love and time. If you love him, talk to him while sober (if you find a time when he is!), give him a very exact time limit to sort himself out. If he fails to pull himself together and devote himself to his family, then kick him out. There can be a compromise, he doesn't have to be stuck in 24/7, but neither do you. Perhaps one night out a month together, when you get a sitter, and one night out each separately? If he isn't happy with that, then he can go.

Alcoholism is a cycle, and it only gets worse. Do you want this for your child and his kids? And for you? It sounds as if he drinks way over the "normal" amount, and that he does have a problem. He needs to see this or he will never find a way out.

leg, we are even better than Loose Women!

[legend758duo]

following on from bobs post there.

phone her up.

afterall it might be ruby.

then she can give you some counselling lol